Sleepwalking my way through life: Finally, cheap cinema tickets!

Finally, cheap cinema tickets!

And on a totally unrelated note, I am so damn jealous.

“Numbers two twenty five and under, over here!” Her voice would have echoed, but the mostly empty hall was filled to the brim with hissing chatter. The line shuffled forward a few steps and I eyed my ticket nervously before glancing over my form again. Everything was fine and in place, just like it was five second earlier. I looked at my ticket again, subconsciously biting my lip.

“Number two thirty nine!”

I strode forward and sat down on the hard backed chair, trying to smile convincingly at the lady across from me. She took my form, looked it over and typed rapidly on her keyboard. Her face was illuminated by the screen, and the light flashed several different colours in quick succession before she handed back my form with a smile. I was then shuffled off towards the other side of the hall where a long queue had formed in front of two people. I craned my neck and watched as new students exchanged details with the two people on the desk, and I saw the occasional flash of credit cards and cheques. After a life time I reached the front.

“Name and date of birth?”

I told him.

“Ok then, do you have any word back from Saas about funding your course fees?”

“Uh no, not yet. Is that a problem?”

“No no no.” he said, “not at all. Now… That’ll be seventeen hundred pounds please. You can pay it all right now or pay in three instalments of two sets of five hundred pounds and one of seven hundred. You can pay via credit card, debit card, cheque, or sexual favours.”

It took me a few moments to process the information that he had given.


The girl beside him laughed and he smiled at me. “Don’t worry about it. Just have your Saas details for us by November and it’ll all be fine.”

I wandered away from him, bewildered.

The exit was in sight, but what stood in between was four sets of cameras and four people merrily saying “Cheese!” and sitting straight in chairs. I was directed into the first seat and squirmed uncomfortably in front of the video camera pointed between my eyes. I kept my eyes locked on the lens as I handed over my registration form; I had this horrible premonition of a photo with squinted eyes and a trickle of drool from a twisted jaw. I contemplated aiming a seductive look at the camera, but common sense kicked in and I froze my face into a generic smile.

A few minutes and a blinding flash later, I stumbled out into the daylight of Glasgow City Centre. I slipped the Bible and Psalm book – sneakily given to me in my blinded state – into my bag and pulled out the small card from my pocket. My picture sat happily in the bottom left corner with the rest of the card reading in bold “University of Strathclyde – Law Arts and Social Sciences”.

I slipped it into a recess in my wallet, smiling smugly at my achievement. Hell yes.
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At 3:36 pm, Anonymous Jules said...

Woohoo! :) Congrats Joe.


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