Sleepwalking my way through life: Female versus Feline



Female versus Feline

My phone vibrated into life and blasted out the polyphonic ring-tone that I had yet to change. I picked it up and answered, glancing at the white envelope that sat on my coffee-table and had remained on my coffee-table for the past ten minutes.

“Hi, Joe?”

“Marie? Where are you?”

“I’m outside your house? Can you come and get me?”

I hung up and slipped on my shoes, perplexed at why Marie was outside and forcing me to wait another agonising minute without knowing my results. I walked out the backdoor and went to the driveway, where Marie stood perfectly still as if in the middle of a game of musical statues. He eyes darted to me and her mouth uttered an urgent whisper.

“She’s here!”

I looked around and saw no one, but a small nod from Marie’s head led me to the ground at my feet where my cat purred happily as it rubbed up against my legs. After I composed myself and stopped the side-splitting laughter, I shooed George inside and led Marie in behind me; protecting her from any cat attacks while hearing her whisper in my ear.

“She was going to eat me, I saw it in her eyes.”
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5 Comments:

At 3:55 am, Anonymous Marie said...

ok thats embarassing. but i guess its funny. You're cat is well scary...she has evil in her eyes i swear it. and she senses the fear.

 
At 7:49 am, Anonymous kris said...

Hang on a sec, you have a cat named George? Did I read that right? Funnily enough, I have my own neurotic bundle of fur also named George. My cat isn't scary: just rather disgruntled with life in general. But I love him to pieces!

 
At 8:37 am, Anonymous Joe said...

Marie: My cat is not evil, you're just scared of her for no plausible reason.

Kris: Yeah, my cat is called George. We used to have another cat that died a few years ago, and her name was Sharkey... So if you put the two together then it's simple to see why two three year old kids would subject their female cat to the name George. But yeah, cats are cool.

- Joe

 
At 7:28 pm, Anonymous Natalie said...

I wish I could write about everyday things with as much fluidity and animated description as you do.

 
At 11:47 pm, Anonymous Joe said...

Natalie - Practisepractisepractisepractise! I've had four hundred posts and two and a half years practicing my technique. And you have your own style that is much better than mine in it's own way.

- Joe

 

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