Sleepwalking my way through life: The slight chill of memory lane



The slight chill of memory lane

“I thought you hated us?” she said, a question that was followed with three expectant stares. Despite the murmur of the busy town Centre around us, there was a stony silence at the table. I chewed my mouthful of pizza and looked from Jeniffer to Charlotte with Feeney watching from the sidelines; sitting round a pizza laden table like old times.


“We should have a reunion of sorts,” Feeney had suggested to me the week before, “I haven’t spoken to them in a while and I know it’s been almost a year since you stopped talking to them.”

I had smiled at the thought, thinking of the fun times and the laughter we had once shared round our little lunch table. My thoughts were on a high due to the fantastically warm sun combined with the spectacular view of the loch. “Yeah, that’d be good.”


And there I was, in mid chew of a cold pizza and faced with a difficult question to dodge. It had been a whole year since I took part in a real conversation with Jen and Chaz, our last exchange of words being an unpleasant one at best, and things were quite awkward. As I swallowed my mouthful I thought carefully about my answer, trying my best to come up with the right words.

“I didn’t hate you.”

Beautifully crafted response Joe, really.

The day was, in short, a complete disaster. The awkward silence between the four of us was only broken with the awkward conversation. Plastic smiles occupied our faces with glossy lips parting in painfully forced laughter, every second a physical struggle.

I had started the day with slightly nostalgic view on what was to come, but as the minutes dragged like hours I slowly realised why I had left my friends in the first place. In the past year I have changed dramatically, they had not. I have grown and matured into the person I am now with new experiences and stories to tell, they were still the same old people; still as bittersweet and bitchy as ever.

It was only after they had left me to myself, them walking away down their happy little roads, that I finally put my old life to rest. Old Joe lives in memories and archives, and there he should stay.
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2 Comments:

At 2:13 pm, Anonymous Jules said...

*hug*

 
At 6:05 pm, Anonymous Elisabeth Ice Cream said...

The day you become an emo, I shall become a jew with a fetish for shrimps. The new Joe is better than the old Joe. Big greec hug

 

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