Sleepwalking my way through life: When the sun goes down



When the sun goes down

The dark night swirls around me, my mind sleepily stumbling over thought after thought. I land in the soft cushion of my bed and lie – eternally awake these days – staring at the ceiling with a hundred thoughts caught in a current, screaming out to me. The thoughts appear in front of me before disappearing into the night, plaguing me with unanswered questions and infinite distress. Eventually a thought stops before me, lingering in my sight a few moments longer than the others. I reach out and grab it, gripping it tightly with the constant fear of being pulled into the river of black thoughts. I clasp this one thought in my closed hands before peering through the cracks to examine it. There is a sudden pain in my chest, as if my dark insides are going to explode into the darkness of the night. I writhe on my bed, letting out a silent wail and clutching my chest in a desperate attempt to stay whole.

The thoughts around me swirl faster, many breaking off from the rest and flying into me, adding thought after to thought to the already painful one. I convulse and twist in my bed covers, trying to force the thoughts out of me. But they keep coming. One after another pounding into my chest, causing me to huddle in a snivelling heap, ready to give up so that everything would just fucking stop.

And then I hear a buzzing. It’s like a bee high on pollen, humming intermittently in a cheery tune. I look to the floor and see a multicolour flashing that urges my hand to reach out and grab it. It murmurs and twinkles happily in my hand, waiting patiently to be answered. I open it and the dark thoughts are dispersed by an almost blinding light.

“Hey there. Sorry if I’ve woken you up.”

“No, it’s ok. I was up anyway.”

“Is everything ok? You sound upset.”

“Just the dark night brining dark thoughts, I’ll be alright soon. So what’s up?”

Yeah, I’m pathetic in an almost emo way. So shoot me.
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1 Comments:

At 8:53 pm, Anonymous eddmun said...

I sometimes wake myself up in the middle of the night by humming in my sleep. I apparently hum at the same frequency as the vibrate setting of my phone, so I roll over to see whos calling/texting me in the middle of the night then realise that no-one loves me.

And it could be worse, you could be scene.

 

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