Sleepwalking my way through life: The reason I stay out of stationary shops

The reason I stay out of stationary shops

It sits, perfect in its untouched innocence as it proclaims to the room that it is there. With its pointed corners and its padded leather cover, the rope weaving up and down the spine; protecting the fantastically smooth pages concealed in its embrace. A page with elegantly made paper that flips gracefully over to the page that follows, each whisper of contact screams to be written on. It begs me to feed it with thoughts and stories; to fill it to its very last page where it can lie completed on a shelf to be picked up on occasion and mused over, bringing to life memories that had long since passed. It urges me to write with passionate peaks and sorrowful curves, to pour my soul into it and to relish at my achievement. It is mocking me.

It lies on my bedside table, laughing at me as I look on it with longing eyes. It watches me as I type cautiously on hard plastic, inserting my mind systematically into a simulated page where it will be uploaded and displayed with harsh, unforgiving pixels. I do not know what the final result will feel like as it sits for the entire world to see, but I have a suspicion that it would be grainy and rough to the touch.

It would be nothing like the thing that sits on my bedside table, its glamorous pages begging to be stroked and its tactile beauty to be experienced. The very smell of it is one that entices me to pick up a pen and write and drown it in my very being. But I do not dare to even touch my plastic biro.

It called out to me, cooing me from its shelf and drawing me closer. It sang its siren song and I was lost under the spell, carrying it carefully to the counter, protecting it in the safety in my bag and resting it delicately on my bedside table. I found myself alone with it, marvelling at its simple beauty and already imagining what I would hold inside its keep. Yet I found myself at a loss of what to do.

This wonderful thing was meant for a single lamp to cast light over it as it lay proud and solitary on an ivory topped desk, strong fingers writing with an almost poetic style in heavy black ink. With my humble bedroom covered in posters, with numerous coffee mugs and yellow walls; how could I compare? My fingers are used to the steady rhythm of typing, an action fit for an unworthy room which contains such a majestic thing that keeps mocking me.

My muscles ache to reach out for it, to pick up a pen and empty myself into it. My chest squirms with tension that desires to be relieved, tension that will explode into complete content when I set pen to paper. I bite my lip, concentrating on the pain and focusing my eyes on the glow before me, resisting the yearning in my body.

It will occupy my sleep, plaguing my dreams and destroying my rest as it burns a hole in my mind.
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At 11:38 pm, Anonymous Joe said...

Testing testing. One two three. Can everyone hear me?


At 11:42 pm, Anonymous Joe said...

Test. Test test. Test... Test test, I'm testing my love for you *blam blam* I'm testing to see if it's true! *blaaaaam*
Test one test two test three test four, I'm testing even more than El Salvador!

"Whoo! El Salvador!"

Looks like the comments are working again. I played with the code a bit and guess I fucked it up. Everything's back to normal now.


At 11:18 am, Anonymous Elisabeth said...

*celebrates with cookies*

At 5:39 pm, Anonymous Jules said...

I love your comments :]

and and and, I loved that entry. It was spectacular.

At 10:17 pm, Anonymous Kiwiqueen said...

I wrote a long comment about my understanding-ness of your plight. It took maybe 15 minutes to write. It is very late and I feel a bit like Elisabeth's fridge with PMS, so I won't type it all out again.

Glad the comments are working again though :-)

At 1:38 pm, Anonymous wenndyy said...

yout entries are always so interesting.

At 11:24 pm, Anonymous Marie said...

...someone had to point out the sarcasm in that too me. U know ur a tard when u cant even pull off sarcastic right.

At 1:35 pm, Anonymous wenndyy said...

sarcasm? what sarcasm?

geez, i apologise if my comment does sound sarcastic? but then, i really mean it. your entries are always so fantastic! :]


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