Sleepwalking my way through life: So damn close



So damn close

My second day back at school.

I'm sitting here in the library with CJ, trying to figure out our Ucas forms before we make a mistake and end up going to the wrong university. We were down in the lunch hall earlier, thinking about school and everything that we'll be leaving behind.

Two and a half weeks, and we're out of school. Then a further three weeks before we finish our exams. Then we're free.

Free? More like fucked.

"I'm going to miss all of it." she said, leaning back in her chair and looking hopelessly at her drama script. I had asked her what she would miss most about leaving school, expecting a short answer that resembled 'friends' or 'lunch times'. "I'm going to miss getting up in the morning and catching a bus. I'm going to miss going to classes, I'm going to miss lunch times and the greatness of hometimes. I'm going to miss seeing my friends every day."

I'm going to miss the chocolate doughnuts, I thought quietly to myself.

"You know that no matter how much we say we'll keep in touch, we're going to drift apart from everyone."

"Yeah," I replied. I finished off my can of coke and placed it thoughtfully on the desk*, "There will be some that we see every once in a while, but we won't be proper friends anymore. We'll make new friends."

CJ broke the thoughtful silence that followed. "Is there anyone that you'll be glad to say goodbye to?"

I sat and contemplated this question, running the faces of all of my friends through my head. "No." I replied honestly, "But I will miss some more than others. The ones that I talk about the most, I'll miss them. It's the ones I don't talk about that I want to forget."

She gave me her answer, which is context sensitive to this very publically displayed blog and cannot be displayed. Much to my protests of course.

It made me wonder though. How many people are going to move on to a new life and forget me, the goofy giant with once long hair? Or, even more pressing, how many people will move on disliking me, even hating me?

I wonder if in twenty years time, CJ will still remember me. Will I remember her?

Probably not. I have trouble remembering what I have for breakfast most days.


*How the hell can you place something thoughtfully?
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4 Comments:

At 3:41 pm, Anonymous Elisabeth Ice Cream said...

I can't say anything about taht becasue you just wrote everything I think about when it's about school.

Are you writing a novel or something?

Anyway, you touched me.

Elisabeth

 
At 4:33 pm, Anonymous Joe said...

One day maybe, I'm just using this blog to try and find my style.

Thanks.


-Joe

 
At 4:34 pm, Anonymous Joe said...

One day maybe, I'm just using this blog to try and find my style.

Thanks.


-Joe

 
At 4:34 pm, Anonymous Joe said...

One day maybe, I'm just using this blog to try and find my style.

Thanks.


-Joe

 

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