Sleepwalking my way through life: Rewritten funny



Rewritten funny

The warm July sun is beating down on us, making me sweat slightly under the unusual heat. Jeff walks beside me unperturbed, her low cut top keeping her cool enough for comfort. Argyll street bustled around us, alive with a swarm of shoppers looking to buy a few more items before spontaneously combusting.

Jeff and I had been talking about my newly purchased CD player, but that conversation had run short and we had fell into silence. We were walking down to meet Maddy and Laura for lunch at MickeyD's and I had made us late.

"Joe, are you an ass man or a boob man?" Jeff suddenly asked, her face calm and serious.

"Ass all the way." I told her, not missing a beat.

"Then why do you keep staring at my chest?"

"I... It's..." I spluttered, trying to think of a good reply. "An ass man isn't bound to just looking at asses, and besides you've got tonnes of cleavage showing. A guy back there almost broke his neck."

She laughed. It was true though. A man tripped over his own feet as we walked out of Currys, he was looking at Jeff's chest so much that he almost toppled over.

"Also," I continued, "it's harder to see a woman's ass seeing as you need to look down further, your breasts are only a few inches south of eye level so it's much easier to see."

"I still don't see why your looking."

"They're just there! Don't get me wrong, I'm not perving on you or anything, it's just that... they're boobs! And they're right there!"

Well they were!
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12 Comments:

At 1:42 am, Anonymous Natalie said...

boobs. kk. to be honest mine arent great. ha. i have had more than a few guys tell me they are "small and beautiful" though.


anyways. me=got the ass all the way.

i have no clue why i left this comment. and ive never heard of "jeff" as a girls name. is that a U.K. thing? or wherever youre from?

cute entry.

 
At 8:30 pm, Anonymous Elisabeth Ice Cream said...

"Jeff" needs to cover up a wee bit then?

Wonderful entry!

 
At 2:48 am, Anonymous Jules said...

Is it just me or have I read this entry before?? I'm not very bright lol.

 
At 3:14 pm, Anonymous Joe said...

Nat - Boobs aren't everything in the world. Yes, they are quite nice to look at, but ass is really the nice thing. I am going to stop now before I come across as perverted.

Elisabeth - Ta.

Jules - Yeah you have. It's basically me rewritting something that happened back last summer. I was bored when writing my Dissertation so I decided to read my old blogs, and this is the end result...


-Joe

 
At 5:28 pm, Anonymous Elisabeth Ice Cream said...

Ta? Should I say "Toodles" now?

 
At 6:46 pm, Anonymous Kiwiqueen said...

Hmmmm. I think if I were a guy, (which I'm not!), I'd go for a combination of the two. Maybe. But I'm not so I'll never know.

 
At 9:11 pm, Anonymous Jules said...

Haha, I like the idea of combining boobs and butt...

 
At 1:17 am, Anonymous Bekka said...

Wear a low cut shirt just to spite her. A little man cleavage never hurt anyone. ;)

(Btw, your blog is wonderful... bookmark!)

 
At 6:34 pm, Anonymous Marie said...

Natalie, since joe didnt reply jeff isnt really called jeff she's called jennifer...i cant remember why they call her jeffiner...maybe i was never told.

 
At 9:39 pm, Anonymous Gary said...

Its jeff cos I said it was.

Joe 4 prez!!!

 
At 2:18 pm, Anonymous No! said...

And that, ladies and gentelmen, is the intellectual peak of Joe's friends.

 
At 9:01 pm, Anonymous Joe said...

Yeah, I agree.


-Joe

 

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