Sleepwalking my way through life: We aren't allowed to call it a "play". Jesus..."

We aren't allowed to call it a "play". Jesus..."

I'm in a odd mood. Brace yourselves.

But I'm not going to talk about that just yet. First I have a quick little message.

Don't try and get into my account. I have a very different password for this one than I have for all my other interweb accounts. So please don't try and get into it. It really isn't nice.

How do I know that someone has been trying to get into my account?

Well when you log in, as like all internet log-ons, you have to provide a user name and password. My username is well known, as is one of my various passwords. But the great thing about these things is that if by some chance you forget your password you have an option that lets you retrieve it. It's quite simple. They link your user name to your e-mail and, hey presto, you have a new arrival in your inbox filled with passwordy goodness.

So it was a great surprise seeing as I received one of these password e-mails. Especially since I didn't request one.

Like I said before, don't bother trying.

It's coming up to midnight.

I should be sleeping, but I'm not. I have an itch at the back of my mind and I feel like this is the only way to scratch it.

Thursday was a very fucked up day indeed.

I had planned a long lie in that morning since I was staying off to receive delivery from B&Q for mum. But the plan was completely fucked when the phone rang at half nine, causing me to wake with a start. I scrambled for the phone.

"It's mum. Are you up?"

"I am now." I reply, scratching my head. "What is it?"

"The B&Q men are arriving in five minutes with the stuff."


"They phoned up and told me that they're arriving in five minutes. Remember to check off each item as they deliver it ok?"

"Yeah yeah, sure sure." I say while pulling clothes on with one hand. "Yeah, ok, I got it. See ya tonight then."

"No, I'm in Manchester tonight. I won't be back until tomorrow evening."




I hang up the phone and trudge down stairs. As promised the B&Q men came and delivered the goods. I hovered on the driveway and watched them unload the various objects into the garage, forgetting to check off each item on the list as they went. Ah well, it doesn't matter.

I phoned my mum up to tell her about the delivery. Yes it went fine. No, no damaged goods. Yes, everything as there.

"Well I suppose you can go to school now."

"What!" I exclaimed, looking at the clock tick past the ten 'o'clock mark.

"There's no point in you staying off is there? And you have lot of things to do in Graphics."

"I suppose..."

No way in hell was I going to school. I had too much unfinished homework.

I collapsed on the couch. The chill from being outside had woken me up so there was no point in attempting to sleep. I tried to make the best of daytime television but I was eventually driven to my Gamecube where I (finally) finished Resident Evil 4.

Fuck me I love that game.

As I was playing through some of the extra features of the game my phone began to vibrate. John was calling, wondering why I was off and how dare I miss an RE discussion with Ms.Glen. I gave my excuse and hung up due to the interference that was created by me blowing down the receiver.

Time passed as I played more and more while neglecting to do my homework. I got a knock on the door and saw that the B&Q men had returned. They had forgotten to deliver some doors and had decided to return and hand them over. I suddenly realised why mum had stressed that I should tick each item off so much.

Ah well, no damage now.

About three seconds after I had closed the doors on the B&Q men, the doorbell rang for the third time that day. I opened the door expecting the B&Q men once more and to lecture myself about how I should have once again ticked off the damn receipt, but I was wrong.

"Sign here please."

I signed the form and received a long, thick cardboard tube before the delivery man retreated to his van.

"Who was that?" Chris called down the stairs.

"Some delivery guy" I said, looking at the label on the tube. "Looks like it's for... You?"

"OH! Thank god they finally came!" He cried, rushing down the stairs and snatching the tube from my hands. He ran into the living room, opening it as he went. He rolled out seven posters on the floor. As he examined each one I picked up the receipt and looked it over.



"Seventy quid on posters!"

"Noooooo. Fifty quid on posters, twenty on post and packaging."

"Oh, and that's SO much better isn't it?"

They are quite classy posters. But seventy quid? Nah, I'd much rather spend money on something a little more substantial...

Like Manga.

I resumed my gamefest for most of the afternoon. Metroid is a really tough game when you get into it. I mean there's this whole thing where you have to do it in a specific order and it takes a lot of concentration to figure out where to go next and what to-

My phone was ringing.

I flipped it open, the number foreign to me, and answered.

"Hi Joe."

"Hiya," I replied, not recognising the voice. "What's up?"

"Where are you?"


"Are you sick?"

"No, I had to receive a package from my mum. It's a long story."

"Can you come into school? We really need you in drama."

Ah, it was Jennifer. She's in my group in drama class.

"Why, what's wrong?"

"He's making us do our performance AGAIN and we need you here since you're the main character in practically all of them."

"I dunno if I can make it."


I hesitated. "Call me back in ten. I'll see what I can do."


I ran to my brother asking for his opinion on the matter. I was expecting him to give me a good excuse to stay off, but no. He suddenly decides to be my fucking conscience.

Ten minutes later I was out the door in full uniform. I glanced at my watch again, since I left early then we'd still have twenty minutes to perform when I got there. I traversed the three miles to school easily, although the unusually bright sun did make me sweat for a bit.

I reach the door to the school, straighten myself up, and step in. I walk up to the corner in the Crush where I see my group working furiously with scripts. I glance at my reflection in the window and wince at my curly hair. To get there on time I had to neglect my hair straightening duties, meaning that my afro would put a young Michael Jackson to shame.

I walk in sight of my group, "You laugh, I go home."

I was almost knocked over by the wall of laughter. What a way to repay a fucking favor folks.

I haven't even gotten to the best part yet. I sat down and amongst the rabble I deciphered a few last minute script changes and got to work. They were simple, a line here and a step there, but the group had gotten someone else to fill in for me in two of the scenes, so I basically had to do three scenes out of five.

"Nice of you to come into school!" My drama teacher said, walking to our area.

Shut up you fat bastard. It it wasn't for your bald, tiny ass I wouldn't be here so shut the fuck up.

"Nice of you to make our group go first, sir." I said through gritted teeth behind smiling mouth.

"Well, it's time for you to perform. Everybody inside the classroom!"

I went over the script changes in my head. Simple, easy, no problem, I thought. And so we set off to do the performance (We aren't allowed to call it a "play". Jesus...)

The first scene was easy, seeing as it was the one I wrote. The next two were scenes that they had someone to fill in for me. I sat at the side, going over the other two scripts, trying to remember our lines. The third scene ended and I stood up, ready for my part.

"Ok, we've ran out of time. Pack up."

You have got to be fucking kidding me.

"I came all this way only to be not needed when the time came." I ranted to Hannah as I stuffed my scripts back into my bag.

"He said that we had to do our performances today," she replied, "even though we're the only group who's done it and we had you were missing."

"Why couldn't he just do another damn group?"

"We told him that you were away and we couldn't do our stuff. He told us to give you a ring and get you up here."


"We were sitting here, waiting for you to come up when he started to shout at us for not doing anything. We told him that we were waiting for you to come up and he told us to get someone else to fill in."

The profanities that spewed from my mouth cannot be repeated.

I walked home instead of taking the bus. I wasn't in the mood to be sitting in a stuffy bus that's filled with the smell of shit and the sounds of a group of apes at the back of the bus. As I walked through the centre I bought a dvd or two to cheer myself up. I was having a shitty day.

I got home and Chris decided to take me to see Serenity, seeing as he hadn't seen it yet. Afterwards he treated me to a Dominoes Pizza. My day became slightly brighter.

But when I got home I called Marie, and we had a fight that concluded my day as being a very crappy one. I'm not going into details.

I know, this is a large blog for such a boring and uninteresting day that happened over a week ago, but I don't care. It's taken me over a week to write and I'll be damned if I don't post it.

More updates of my holiday will probably follow soon.
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