Sleepwalking my way through life: "I am going to pwn that fucking homework."



"I am going to pwn that fucking homework."

I'm going downhill.

It's fun, it's fast. I get what I want when I want it, my time is nothing but a blur of weekends and endless procrastinations. The speed is unmatched, the adreneline is intoxicating and freedom is beathtaking.

And then a sudden realisation hits me. I can't stop.

It's not fun, it's too fast. I want too much, my weekends have ended, I can no longer procrastinate. Too fast, too unsafe.

Shit, what have I done?

I have homework that's weeks overdue, money that's flowing out of my account into a pit of entertainment and food, and I'm terrified at what's going to happen.

I have three textual analysis', a book to read, two books to read and begin to analyse, a story to write, an essay to redo, to finish my script, to learn my script, to finish off four pages of my thematic presentation, and a play to read. "I'll do it tomorrow" I would say as I bathed in the glow of my Lapdancer. They piled up on my floor and I watched on with no urge to finish them.

In the the short ten weeks since I have began school, I have spent over a thousand two hundred pounds. Five hundred of which has been in the past four weeks. My nest egg of one thousand two hundred pounds (That I have been saving since birth) is down to just over a thousand. That's including the thousand pounds I made over summer. I go out into town, a tenner in my pocket for the train and food, and I take out twenty quid at a time, just incase I see something. And I always see something.

Things have to change.

Tomorrow I'm taking another day off. I'm sick, I'm ill, I need to rest. The real reason? I'm going to sit in my room and do all my fucking homework. Every last piece of paper is going to be written, drawn or acted out. I am going to walk into school on Tuesday morning with a smile on my face, knowing that I am up-to-date and ready to look teachers in the eye again. I am going to pwn that fucking homework.

My bank card is also going to leave it's comfortable nook in my wallet and take up residence on my bedside table. It'll only make an appearance on weekends where I shall take out no more than ten pounds. Anything that I want to buy specifically I save. The twenty pounds I get every month as pocket money is going to train tickets. The five pounds I get a week for food will be kept for food. A guy has got to eat.

As I say these things to myself I begin to slow down. The ground is evening out slightly, and the roar of wind in my ears has lessened.

I'm taking control of my life.
« Home | Next »
| Next »
| Next »
| Next »
| Next »
| Next »
| Next »
| Next »
| Next »
| Next »

1 Comments:

At 4:17 pm, Blogger Hendersex said...

Yeah im in the same position joe.

Im enjoying life soo sooo much right now, but teh past four weeks have just been a blur...a total fucking blur.

Anyway, I blogged eventually, check it out.

 

Post a Comment