Sleepwalking my way through life: "I discovered something today."



"I discovered something today."

I just spent four hours typing out a huge blog.

It was truly massive. It could rival some short stories by covering a whopping five pages of A4. It contained some of my deepest thoughts and feelings. It had my view on my past, present, and future relationships and what I really think about them.

I just spent four hours typing out a huge blog that took four seconds to delete.

I discovered something today.

The earlier post today was a rant. A ramble on how I had had a crap morning and I was pissed off at my friends for something they did. I was mad when I wrote it, seething with the humility that was in fact still very fresh. But as soon as I finished typing the blog, I almost didn't want to post it.

I wanted to save it, to hide it in a region of cyber space until I was safe in the comfort of my abode. If I had posted it that moment, then my friends who were on neighboring computers would read it and be concerned, apologetic or, at worst, annoyed.

Of course, at the time of writing, that's what I wanted them to feel. I wanted them to know that they had hurt me. But by the time I finished the blog I didn't want them to know just quite yet.

That's because I was fine with it.

That is the miracle of this place. This is where I can rant and rave without interruption. I sit here and vent my thoughts and feelings into words and phrases, with no back chat, no persuasion. I can sit here and be listened to without having to listen.

And by the end of it, I'm great. I can take on the world again.

So as I sat in the library, the pointer hovering over the "Publish Post" button, I wondered if I should have saved the post for later, to avoid the questions and comments.

But Rooney gave me a fright and I clicked it by mistake.
« Home | Next »
| Next »
| Next »
| Next »
| Next »
| Next »
| Next »
| Next »
| Next »
| Next »

0 Comments:

Post a Comment