Sleepwalking my way through life: "Fucking displeased indeed."



"Fucking displeased indeed."

Another day, another blog.

I walk up to school today with my black shirt open to reveal the white t-shirt underneath. I was out the door so quickly that I had forgotten to button it up. My hair had sprung into curls for the heavy drizzle that plagued the air. Needless to say that I was slightly ticked off.

But that doesn't matter. Cos when I get in I'll sit down, talk to my friends, and all will be well.

You can imagine my displeasure when I walk in and receive an attack off of them. I know that one or two of them will read this, and I want them to know how displeased I was when I came in.

Fucking displeased indeed.

I walk in, wave, and give my usual "Howdy" before taking off my bag and jacket.

"It is so not six weeks!"

"What?"

"You and Marie, you have not been going out for six weeks!"

"How'd you mean?"

"Well, it's been twenty six days since the open day. Which adds up to three week's."

I slowly did up my tie as I contemplated this. "It's been six weeks since I met her."

"No it hasn't!"

Now it is time for me to set the scene for you. I was standing, in the crush, in front of the benches that we usually sit at. The benches are in an L-formation to line up against the wall, so everyone was facing me.

I don't perform well under those conditions.

I felt like I was on trial, they were sitting there singling me out and interrogating me.

And I did the worst thing I can ever do when under pressure.

"N-n-no it's definitely s-six weeks."

I fucking stuttered.

Now cue the humiliation. This is what I hated most about being friends with Jen and Chaz. When they made fun of me when it was just them, I was fine with it, cos I could handle what they took. But when they made fun of me in front of other people, I hated it. I couldn't block it out because I had to defend myself.

Yes, dear friends, I am comparing you with the most soulless beast on the planet.

And so the conversation moved on slightly. I stood there, still on guard and still humiliated, waiting for the tension to pass. But soon, someone spoke up again.

"Joe. The Uni day was on a Monday."

"Yes, I know that."

"And that was your first date with Marie."

"No it wasn't!"

"What?"

"My first date was on the Saturday before that!"

"Which means..."

"Four weeks!"

"Oh yeah. It's four weeks tomorrow and-"

"-and six weeks since we met."

"Oh yeah."

Damn fucking straight.
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4 Comments:

At 9:54 am, Anonymous Anonymous said...

"Joe"..(in an English accent)

"Sorry mate"...(still in the accent)

"Just looking out for you"..(accent is wearing thing)

"Don't wanna see you get hurt mate"...

"Cheerio..."

 
At 10:02 am, Anonymous Anonymous said...

MOJO!!! JOJO!!!

"we never meant to hurt youuuuu...we never meant to make you cry...etc", lol.

I said it wasn't six weeks...I apololololologise. Again..."I never meant to hurt youuuuuuuu!"

Well anyways, yeah...what Clare said...

J

 
At 3:40 pm, Anonymous Anonymous said...

who are the most souless beings?

 
At 5:21 pm, Blogger Insane.Dilusional.Me said...

aye...so i was a soleless being :P ya git :P lol
WOooooooo you helped me loose my subway virginity today :D:D:D
XXXX

 

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