Sleepwalking my way through life: "Those seconds of silence. That is where my terror lies."



"Those seconds of silence. That is where my terror lies."

I am terrified.

I sit here in my livingroom, my Lapdancer sitting comfortably between my legs, and a vibrating phone brings entertainment to an uneventful evening.

As another message is recieved it rumbles its way over the leather couch before being snapped up by my ready hand. I automatically flip it open and my fingers speedily press a sequence of buttons before I pause. I read the message, smile at its content and dial the reply with a spark in my eye as I think of something witty to say.

I finish the message and re-read it before sending it on its merry way through the air to the opposing phone. I return to the Lapdancer, pushing her buttons to create pleasing results. I am almost totally distracted when the phone goes off again, making its attempted escape from my grasp.

I snap it up again and read the message. The pause is longer as I double check what was said. My heart beats a touch faster and my brain goes blank. But only for a moment. Soon I am back to replying and the message is sent within seconds.

Those seconds of silence. That is where my terror lies.

Do not take the following as big-headedness. I, and many others, know this fact to be true. And I will share it with the world.

I am not really who I am on here.

On here, I am witty, intelligent, and charming. On here I can be the nicest man you will ever meet. I understand, I debate, I plan. I can do almost anything you want.

My secret?

Time.

When on here I can take all the time I want to answer questions, comments, and general conversation. With this precious time I formulate the perfect answers. With this time I make myself likeable.

But there is a downside.

"Where should we meet?"

Those words chill my soul. For I know where they lead.

I meet them, I be myself, but I'm not the person they knew. They expected the person they talked to on the internet. Instead they get a cheap knock off.

I've created something I can't live up to.
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10 Comments:

At 9:39 pm, Blogger Insane.Dilusional.Me said...

Just be yourself...
she will love you <3

 
At 9:33 am, Anonymous Anonymous said...

are you meeting some1 you met on the internet?

 
At 5:16 pm, Anonymous Anonymous said...

What the HELL?

You are so far up your own arse.

 
At 9:00 pm, Blogger Joe said...

Ok, Anonymous person2, hold back a bit. The first one only asked a question. Though if it is who I think it is then you can shout all you want.

No Anonymous person1, I am not meeting someone from the internet. This is a girl I met at the Cathouse but have been talking to through text. I'll post about her and that party sometime soon. Whenever I finish it that is.

:D

Joe

 
At 4:42 pm, Anonymous Anonymous said...

anonymous 1 only asked a simple question my god!

 
At 3:34 pm, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Yes, well being anonymous2, I can tell you now I was actually telling JOE that he is so far up HIS own arse.

Blogs aren't for cryptic shit dumbass. Stop trying so hard to be someone you clearly want to be.

 
At 6:00 pm, Blogger Joe said...

This coming from the person too chicken shit to leave a name.
And this post wasn't cryptic jackass. If you took the time to actually read it you see that this actually happened.
Go fuck off and flame someone elses blog.
Jesus. People these days eh?

Joe

 
At 9:10 am, Anonymous Anonymous said...

well done anonymous 2 sorry for thinking we were shouting at me! so u dont like joe, join the club!
well done for shouting at him whoeva u are

 
At 6:40 pm, Blogger Joe said...

You don't like me? STOP READING THIS THEN.

Wow, would you look at that? Problem solved.

 
At 12:07 pm, Anonymous Anonymous said...

whateva!

 

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