Sleepwalking my way through life: "And you're... you're... EMO-FIED!"



"And you're... you're... EMO-FIED!"

I've had an interesting weekend.

Well I think I have, I'm not too sure if I can remember all of it.

We'll start at the beginning.
I decided to leave work a few minutes earlier to see if I could catch the train that leaves a few minutes before I reach the station. So I left early and sort of half ran and half jogged to the station. I arrived there on time and found myself a seat just as it was pulling out of the station. I was sitting across from this old lady who kept giving me looks every time I looked out the window.
My CD player was still in a bad mood and I couldn't be bothered drawing or writing so I just stared out the window for the entire journey. Twas very bleak and not too exciting to be honest.
So I ran home, charged my CD player, had dinner and got ready to go out in record time. I was so fast it was unbelievable. Though to be honest I did only finish my fish when I was walking out the door. And my jacket was reeking of some sort of sour cream.
It was the same jacket I had used during the cream fight we had at the beginning of summer, and even though I've washed it several times It still hasn't come out. So before I left I overdosed the Febreeze a little bit and it was mostly scentless, but I missed the arms and the smell was quite sickening.
But it didn't worry me that much seeing as I really needed it to keep my hair straight in the drizzle. Which is one of the reasons that I'm thinking of changing my hairstyle. But more on that later.

So we went up the the Key and had a lot of fun. I was hyper for most of the night, so the fun was amplified by tenfold. We spent a good chunk of the time on the computers with Maddy sitting on my lap while she talked to people through my MSN. She was talking to Ollie and every once in a while I would cut in and write "I want to sex you" and "Oh yes, yes YESSSSSSSSS". Ollie's reaction was really funny.
But she got her own back when she started doing the same to the people that I talked to. For example, Laura and Daniel got a nice dose of Maddy's madness through MSN.
Not much else after that. We just hung around the booths and talked for ages. I think we had a conversation about some guy jacking off a dog so he could have its cum as icing on a cake he wanted to eat. Sounds delicious.
We also did the whole knee squeezing thing. When someone squeezes a part of your knee, it's supposed to feel like one sixth of an orgasm. I don't know what it's like since it didn't work on me, but MAddy went crazy when I did it to her. She really hated it. So me and another guy called Gary sat on either side of her and on the count of three we squeezed her knees.
She instantly went into a fury and started scratching and slahing anything she could. I now have five or six red cuts healing up and down my arm.
And at one point Maddy, LauraMcG and Nadia were in the toilet doing their make-up or something, so I was forced to wait outside the door for them to come out. When I was waiting there a lady who volunteers at the Key came up and said;
"You know, you don't look too good standing by yourself infront of the ladies toilets."
So I let out a long sigh and said, "I know, but it's the only way I get to meet girls."
She was laughing so hard she had to go into the toilets herself.

Nothing much else to comment about on Friday.


Saturday was a lot of fun though.
I got up nice and late when no one else was in the house and got myself ready. The milk was out of date so I couldn't have cereal, instead I had chocolate. Nice healthy chocolate.
I got myself dressed (All by myself, whooo!) and proceeded to do my hair. And then something quite not-nice happened. I was straightening my hair (Yes newcomers, I am a guy who straightens his hair) and There's this part behind my ear that really annoys me since it's hard to get. But that mornign I wasn't paying attention and I clamped down on the piece of hair...
"AHFUCKITYOUSONUVABITCHCOCKSUCKER!"
I had clamped down on my ear instead. That's two hundred degrees celcius inflicted onto my ear in thetime fame of three seconds. Luckily the pain wore off in a few minutes and my ear only looked slightly red. And besides, I was going to be wearing earphones for a chunk of the day, so it didn't bother me.
So I wlaked up to the Stewart Hotel and trudged up the stairs to the tournament. As I reached the door, Frost was coming out. He looked at me and said, "Hey. Registration's just through there. First timers get in for seven pounds."
"Long time no see."
He stopped and squinted at me.
"Holy fuck it's you. And you're... you're... EMO-FIED!"
"Thanks man. How've things been?"
"Yeah, they're great. We got about fifty or so people in at the moment. Fletch and Paul are just through there by the way."
So I walked through to the reception room to find Fletch and Paul playing on a giant arcade machine. They were playing two player of the original Golden Axe game. I tapped them on the shoulder and they turned around and stared at me.
"Jesus man, when did you grow your hair?"
"When the hell was it black?"
"Since when are you emo?"
"When the hell was it black"
"Ok then, what are your favourite bands?"
"WHEN THE HELL WAS IT BLACK?"
I explained to them how I wasn't emo, how I just liked the hair and I usually wear darks anyway, and that it's always been black.
When I was saying it Fletch kept lifting up my fringe and moving it about while saying under his breath "Dear god it's real."

I spent most of the day on the arcade machine to be honest. It has some real gems on it and they're just so much fun to play. Retro games are pretty good to be honest.
I didn't spend too much either. A tenner to get in and I only spent three pounds on food and drink for the nine hours I was there.We went down to Farmfoods pretty early in the day and I got myself a two litre bottle of Irn-Bru and a Toblerone for a pound each. Twas gooood. And the other pound was just for two sweets that I bought before I left.
I also looked at Frost's laptop, and it's just a giant brick. So I wasn't interested at all...
I also met Sara at the tournament too. She's Brittneys best friend and I had heard a lot about her but I never met her. She came in with William and Fubu and she's dead nice. Quite nice looking too to be honest.

I left at around half eight seeing how I was knackered and some little guy was hogging the arcade machine. So I left ("Bye emo-kid!") and walked home.
When I got home I sat there reading the Edge magazine that came through the door that morning. After a while I got out my mobile phone and started to record myself. I was recording what my voice sounded like, what my impressions sounded like and what my singing sounded like.
It sounded like George had gotten stuck in the bin and was trying to get out. And I would know that, seeing as how I once put George in the bin.
You know, for funsies.

After that I started watching the Fifth Element while drawing a new hairstyle for myself. Some of them weren't bad I suppose, and some of them were pretty good on paper, but didn't work out in real life, and some of them were just plain funny.
I'll post pictures of them when I get my computer back and running.
After that mum came home and while she was looking at my burn she picked a bit and it started hurting like crazy and weeping. Turns out I had a blister on my ear and she had just burst it, so it should get better now.
Then I wne to bed.


Sunday wasn't bad. I did my ironing and cleaned my room before going to B&Q with mum.
It wasn't a bad day I suppose. Not too amazing either.


And today all I've been doing is sleeping, doing some work and typing this. I haven't even bought a can of coke yet! I'm so proud of myself that I'm sticking to my plan. But yeah, that's my weekend in a nutshell.


I would go on to talk about other stuff right now, but the time has just flown by and it's already lunch.
I'll be right back in an hour or so...
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