Sleepwalking my way through life: August 2004



I Know That I'll Never Know

Tuesday, August 31, 2004
Current Mood: Thoughtful
Current Music: FFVII- Cosmo Canyon

Can't be arsed writing much.

Danny is a bastard. Why does he lie? Is it some sort of condition? That he has to try and split up his friends.
Bastard.
And the thing is that he had the cheek to apoligise after he did it.
Fucking bastard.

On a lighter note, Heatherbelle got MSN! Whooo! Can finally talk to her without a phone! Heheheee.
And for the past few months I've been spelling Heathers name wrong. Whoops.
From now on she will be known as Heatherbelle.
Wow I'm sad....

...

That is all...

I Got My Finger On the Trigger and You're in My Way

Sunday, August 29, 2004
Current Mood: Angry
Current Music: AFI- Leaving Song

I am so PISSED OFF at Chaz and Heatherbell.

ARRRGGGG!!!!!!!

Yesterday, when they told me about the Jennifer and Kevin thing, they had an alterior motive. When they told me about it, they were actually looking out for my reaction. To see what I would do. You see. I was passive, and non-intrusive.

In short, I didn't give a damn.

But some how, in their twisted little minds, it came off as jealousy.

And now they have the idea that I fancy Jennifer. And it's really fucking me off. It's not that I have anything against Jenny, it's just that...

Shit, not even I know anymore.

I don't want anymore lies or shit like that going round again. It's been done. It wasn't funny.

Just leave me alone.

I Have Returned

Current Mood: AMAZING
Current Music: Red Hot Chhili's- Emit Remmus

MY MSN IS BACK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
*Dances*
WHOOOOOOOO!!!!
I'm part of the statistic again!!
We dunno how it got back though. Chris was just on it this morning and it logged on itself. We checked if the e-mail was working and it was!
Tis great being back. But since it's like in the middle of the afternoon there's a certain lack of people on Messenger. Except for Maddy that is.
I can d/l music again!!!!!!!
*Dances*

Went to Pizza Hut yesterday. Was brilliant fun. It was really full and we all got but into a table that's right in the middle of the restaraunt. We were surrounded by this little fencey thingy and Chaz said that it felt like we were in a play pen. Was well good. We just talked about shit. Chaz and Heatherbell kept goin on about this guy called Kevin that Jen was going out with at the key.
As if.
I knew that she was at canoeing. And the fact that she told me it was all a lie. I wonder what they were on about... I'm gonna go to the key this friday. Maddy invited me along... Meh.

Just before I got to Pizza Hut I was going around the centre with my mum and we went into HMV to have a look around. Everything was fine so we decided to leave. That's when I ran into Heatherbell. I had to ditch my mum at that point. Shame. She held it against me later by being really bitchy.
I kinda deserved it.

It still was a good day.

After we had our food we walked around the centre for ages while the girls looked for cheer-leading stuff for Hallow'een. Was exhausted by the end of it.

So... Yeah.

MSN!!!!!!!!!!!

Ready to Die

Friday, August 27, 2004
Current Mood: Stuffed
Current Music: Dogs Die in Hot Cars- I Love You Cos I Have To

Wheee!!!!!
I took a picture of myself!!!
And it turned out half-decent!
Wheeeee!!!

Here it is (Don't blame me if it turns out the size of a thumbnail like the other one did.
Here it is
It didn't turn out too bad.

Yeah right.

And DeviantArt is back up, so I can post my Samurai girl pic. It's ok. A little on the fuzzy side though... <_>

So... Yeah.

I've Got a Will to Survive

Current Mood: BORED
Current Music: Maroon5- Harder to Breathe

I'm bored now. I can't submit anything in DeviantArt at the moment so I'm gonna have to wait until I can post my new pics..

*Cries*

So I'm just gonna continue writing my story. this one's a wierd one. It's basically what happened on tuesday, except with a slight twist at the end. I won't ruin it though.

I might be getting a mentor at school. I signed up for one today because my bro says that it was good to have one. I have a sinking feeling that I'm gonna get Fitzpatrick. My English teacher. He's a downright bastard too. He acts like a friendly guy on the outside, but just wait until you do something wrong or forget something.
It has something to the effect of you being between a rock and a ton of bricks. Seriously.
Arrrg. Wish I hadn't signed up anymore.

*Rumble*

I'm hungry. Mum's bringing home chinese since Chris is away to the cinema. That means she's gonna be late.
Mmmmm.... Chinese....

YAY!!!!!

Koori's on chat!! Woot!! I can finally talk to some one!! (I sound so sad).
Anyways. I'm away.
Good day.
...
I SAID GOOD DAY!

I've Come Crashing Down

Current Mood: Annoyed at one's self
Current Music: Guns 'n' Roses- Paradise City

ARRRRGGGG
I hate my nonlistening-ness. All my friends are going to a Maroon5 concert and I can't go cos I wasn't listening when they were talking about it. AARRRGGG!!! I think I was all down when they were on about it. Grrr.....

I had an amazing day today though! Guess why! DAN!!! He wasn't in at all!! The little pussy was dogging school so he wouldn't do PE. Sure he'll say that he had a migrane (sp?) or something.
Migrane my ass.

Double Chem was ok. I got another page done in my story (Is currently 3 pages long) and we got to see an explosion at the end!! He set up this custard powder-flame thingy and but it in a paint can with a lid on. He then pumped air into the can and the lid exploded!! It flew into the air followed by a huge flame.
Was well class.

Computing was good too. We had the usual banter that we have during computing. Snce there's only six of us in the class we just talk freely. Big A makes tons of hilarious jokes. Most of them sexist and aimed at Jacko (Jacqliuene(Sp?)) but funny all the same. I told him a blonde joke and he hit me over the head. He's blonde you see...

PE was crap. We were doing table tennis... Uggghhh.
Nuff said.

*Beep Beep*
Jenny: "R u coming to Pizza Hut 2moz?"
Me:????????

*Picks up phone*
*Ring Ring*
Jen: "Hello?"
Me: "Yeah it's me"
Jen: "Hiya"
Me: "What's this about pizza hut?"
Jen: "Do you not listen to us at lunch?"
Me: "No"
*Sorts out details*
*Hangs up*

That was fun while it lasted.

My brother just left to see Chronicals of Riddick. I'm gonna go see it but I need to see Pitch Black first. Can't wait. But the best thing is that I have the house to myself for a bit and I'm blasting my music as loud as I can.
Wheeeee!!!!!
*Dances to super cool music*

Micheal got a Blog!!!
Micheal G has gotten a blog to record his time in the town-next-to the city of Oxford. It's here. READ IT!!!!!

And that's me for the moment. I'll probably post later or something.
Damn my short attention span! It's your fault that I can't... Do... What was I saying?

You Are Worse Than Dead to Me

Wednesday, August 25, 2004
Current Mood: Good
Current Music: The Ataris- The Night the Lights Went Out in NYC

Forgot to mention a few things actually.....

Jen and Dan were able to transfer to Geography and take both that and History (They weren't able to before). Which is good, they get what they want, I get what I want. Jen and Dan get to take Geography, Jen gets to drop Computing and I have an empty seat in Chemestry!!!

Win-win situation really...

I wanted to hit him again today. Arrggg. He pisses me off so much. At lunch I just wanted to tackle him and slam his head off the ground. Then I would get a can of coke (In all my fantasies I'm this suave guy who does things with class). And when we were in H&M I just wanted to stuff an item of clothing down his throat.
I really need to stop having these thoughts.
Thank God I'm not gooing to his birthday party. At TGI's too. I would have to murder him with the steak knives if I had to have a whole night of him and his excessive annoying-ness.
You can see how innocent I am then. ^_^

There's just something about him that gets me riled off.
Cos he can get away with murder?
Possibly
Cos he's gay?
Nope. That ain't it.
The way he treats me and friends?
Bingo.
Joe, you're doing it again.
Talking to myself?
Yup.
I'll be quiet then.
That would be the sane thing to do.

I can't wait till I finish my next story. It'll give me something to post in DeviantArt and WR.
Whee!
It's about Alex again. And it's still about school. Like I said before, it's basically my life except with some made up bits. Don't worry folks. Ayden will go to hell soon. (Guess who I based him on).
If you still don't know what I'm talking about then go to this site.
And if you know me personally then tell me you've been on it! Tis annoying iof I keep putting up links when no one is using/has used them.

Yenuh (AB) and Istra are on!!! They won't go on chat though. Never do. Yenuh did once. She was with us when me and Koori talked for 7 hours.
Ah the memories.
She never goes on by herself though. Bah. No one ever comes on....

*Cries*

I don't think that Kitty is coming back to be honest. I left her a comment on her Blog ages ago and she hasn't posted anything else in ages. Meh. She was ok, but if she ain't around then she ain't around. Too bad... Maybe if I get MSN back I can talk to her on Messenger....

Holy crap! I have over 90 pictures!!! I never noticed that. Only 34 are mine though. The rest are d/l from the net and stuff done by people on WR. And all of them have messed up names!!! Heheheeeee. I'm so devious...
Wowzer.
And I can't delete any!!! I love them all...

...

Meh

Here We Go. On the Road to Hell

Current Mood: Ticked off
Current Music: Phantom Planet- California

Bah
That's right.
Bah
My mum took the keys to the conservatory with her today so I couldn't get on till late.
*Is so annoyed*
And WR is down!
*Is really pissed*
AND the chat isn't working again!
*Head explodes*

I've had a bad day too.

Not just that, a bad week! It's feels like a crap week this week so I'm going with that. I've felt miserable all day and did nothing to hide it. I was silent, distant and dark.
It was kinda annoying though. People asking you what's up every five seconds. Hardly smiled all day. Emma made me laugh though. She was on about how my face was so down that I would trip over it. It was funny. I laughed.

YESTERDAY!!
Oh my God lunch!!

All my friends went away to do this Uni thing and I was left having lunch with Dan. Not a pleasant experience let me tell ya. We weren't talking or anything (which I didn't mind to be honest) and then Jenny B (The one that really likes me) came over and asked us to their table.

NO!!! Leave me alone you psycotic stalker!! AAAAAAAHHHHHHHH

"Sure"

*Slaps forehead with hand*

We get over there and it's just them talking (Them being all of them and Dan) while I just sat there and smiled. Psshhh. I hate smiling when I don't need to. Unless there's a nice lookin girl in the centre... ^_^
Anyway, I was just sitting there doing nothing so I decided to bring out my notebook and pen so I could write something. I started to get going really well and I was developing things in my head spur of the moment.

I love it when I get a rythm like that.

So, I was off writing in my kick ass rythm and Jenn turns around to look at me.
Jenn: "What you doing?"
What does it look like you stupid cow?!?!
Me: "Writing"
Jenn: "For what? Homework? Essay?"
For myself you ignorant bitch
Me: "For me"
Jenn: "Why?"
To get away from this place! To get into my own little world where people do as I say!
Me: "Cos"
Jenn: "No really why?"
Because you don't exist in my world!!!!
Me: "Cos"
Jenn: "Fine then I'll shut up"
There is a God!!
Jenn: "So who ya fancy?"
And then I lost my rythm! I couldn't think of anything else to write!
Curse you woman...

And today at lunch!!

I was all silent and spaced out and she asks me what's up. I'm like "Nothing" and she's like "Yeah there is" and I'm like "No, there's not" and then Jenny (My Jenny) joins in and starts saying that I've been in a mood all day. I had not! The world has been in a mood with me all day...
So, she and her friends got up to leave and she started getting on at my Jenny saying that she "sooooo" fancied me. As if. Who would like me? Lolz...

She kept touching my hair! She put her fingers through it as she stood up. I ducked out of it and was like "HOLY CRAP!!" and no one else saw it! Then she kept tugging on bits of it while she talked to Jenny! I was freaking out. She eventually left, but just after school ended we passed each other in the corridor and I said Hi and she stuck her arm out and slapped me on the stomache!!!! I think that she was aiming a little lower though....

*Shudder*

Why do I attract all the ugly people?
Helen! She likes me too and she's just scary! She sits infront of me in English and every once in a while she stares at me. I pretend not to notice and continue with work but all the whites in her eyes show!!!!!! It really freaks me out!!

I got the chat thingy working again. Except no one is on anymore.... <_> Koori was on DeviantArt but she didn't go on chat...
Grrr.
I hate not having MSN. Thousands people are chatting on it but I'm not one of them. I want to be part of the statistic!!!!!

Now that I think about it, I don't actually know who I fancy yet.... I should look out for people....
*Looks out*
Nope... No one within the radius of 10 metres... Must loook tomorrow...

Heheheeee.

I can be really strange sometimes.

Sorry about last post. I was kinda in a mood. >_< Am ok though... for now.

Why Does Everyone Have to Mess Up My Life?

Monday, August 23, 2004
Current Mood: Philisophically Annoyed
Current Music: Avril- My Happy Ending

Why why why why????
Why the fuck does it happen to me?
Why not Woody? He hardly has anyhthing interesting in his life, put this stuff on him!

No scratch that. I wouldn't want to inflict damage on any other person.

God, let me ask you, why? Why did you create the Earth? Huh? Were you bored one timeless day and thought "I'll create a little race of beings to act as my reality show!" and the world was born.

No scratch that.

Why did you create ME? Come on then answer me! ANSWER ME!!!!
Why did you have to make me? Why couldn't you just leave that little scrap of clay and chuck it in the bin? I wouldn't of been formed yet, I wouldn't of minded. Besides, what's one life compared to the billions that he would probably one day ruin!

AARRRRRGGG!!!!!
WHY OH MIGHTY LORD WHY DID YOU HAVE TO DO THIS?
I HATE MY FUCKING LIFE
I DON'T GIVE A RATS ASS IF IT'S BETTER THAN MILLIONS OF PEOPLE OUT THERE
I WANT A DIFFERENT EXISTANCE
Scratch that.
I DON'T WANT TO EXIST

This world that I live in is so fucked up that's unbelievable. Why give us pain I ask you? Sure, it's a warning against dangers, but why not put something else? How about a set of lights on your chest? Blue for good, red for bad.

ANSWER ME!!!!

I know that I'm gonna regret this later. When my friends all make fun of me. When they laugh and joke. When my soul shatters in my chest. I will regret it. Hell, I might even delete this post. Or I might keep it. In an act of defiance to you.

*giggle*

I'm gonna regret this sooooooooo badly.

Finally, Some One to Die For

Current Mood: Good
Current Music: Red Hot Chili's- Teenager in Love

I'm writing my story!!!
Haven't done it in ages. I started it on holiday and I'm just typing it up the now. If you want to read it then just got to my Deviant Art page and read it. It should be done by the end of the night.
^_^
I should really tell you about my weekend now...
On saturday I spent 7 hours talking to Koori and Yenuh (AngelBaby). They're great fun. We just talked about random things with koori shouting "period" at me to freak me out. We had a good laugh though.
I went to see the Village after it at about 6. It was crap. Do NOT go see it. Granted there are some jumpy bits but that is the highlight. It doesn't build suspense well, it had crap music and half-decent characters. And the ending twist was sooooooooo predictable.
Yeah
And the next day we went to see A cinderella story with Hilary Duff and Ched Micheal Murran or something. My advice. Don't go see it unless you're a 5 year old girl or have a very large obsession with that Ched guy. I don't even remember if that's his name or not...
It's corny, it's cheesey and Hilary is a crap actress. Psshhh.
So... Yeah
"This is Kent Brockman, and that was my two cents"

Corruption in the Blood

Current Mood: Angry
Current Music: Papa Roach- Blood Brothers

I DESPISE THIS PC TO IT'S VERY CORE
*Kicks PC*
IT IS FUCKED UP BEYOND BELIEF
*Breathes in and out heavily*
Maybe I do need anger managment.
Here's the skinny. I just spent an hour typing up a post for this Blog, a really long one, and the computer fucked up and shut down while I was in the middle of posting it!
*Kicks PC again*
Piece of shit
*Hard drive splutters*
CRAPCRAPCRAPCRAPCRAPCRAP
*Returns to normal*
Thank God. Piece of shit.
*Kicks PC*
*Evil Laugh*

Anyway, where was I?
Oh yes, need to start again.... Goody.

Came home from school really tired today. I seem to notice how far I half to walk when I'm not with Jen. Sucks really. Anyway, I got home and my brother and two of his friends are in the house playing a game Chris had just bought. As soon as I walked in they both had to leave.
Suspicious.

Had an ok day at school today. Decided not to hit Dan. Actually a coin toss decided it but that's another story. Would I have fought him anyway? Who knows? I'll never know now.
We ain't friends anymore. You think I'm sad? Nope. Not at all. We ain't friends then we ain't friends. I've known it for a long time and it was time to face the music (and dance!). But seriously though, I'm glad that this whole thing is behind us now. Bastard.
Jen and Chaz were furious with us because we weren't friends (More angry at Dan). Don't understand why. We're still gonna hang out and all, just not be friends. I'm actually slightly confused on the matter.
He might be changing Chem classes too. Yay! No more awkwardness!! Woot!

Heatherbell's getting the net today. But my MSNs still down so I can't talk to her <_> Jen or Chaz will probably tell her about this place. They read it for a good laugh. Makes me feel kinda small really. To find ones life amusing. Or maybe it's the way one narrates?
We shall never know.
They haven't even seen my Deviant Art yet!!!
You! Go here!

*Beep Beep*
My phone just went off. Hmmm....
I just got a text from 8193 or summit. It said "You must be a good shooter because I kept missing you :-) (Next Page) Please Text back 99p/message... etc"
Odd.

I need to come off now. My computer's all fucked again and I need to restart it.
>_>
AAAAAARRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGG!!!!!!!!!!
*Kicks PC*
*PC fizzles and dies*
...
Crap

I Have a Purpose

Sunday, August 22, 2004
Current Mood: Pissed off, but glad for it
Current Music: Smile Empty Soul- Who I Am

We have a little bitch-fight going on here do we?
Anyone who is reading this please scroll down to the post below and read the comments that go with it.

Heheheeeee.

Daniel you pussy-assed mother fucker I'm gonna kick your sorry ass from here to the prehistoric age.

Tomorrow.
After school.
You.
Me.
A whole lotta blood.

Hahahaaaa!!!!

To think I was even contemplating on apology. You rat assed spot faced piece of shit.
To think I even thought of you as a friend.
To think I even thought of you as anything you back-stabbing bastard!

You are the one who started this my "friend"
And I will be the proud one who ends it.

And please don't flatter yourself with "best fight of your life" crap. It was like beating up a little scared girl. That's the main reason I stopped. But tomorrow will be the best fight of my life. Whether you'll remember it or not is a different matter.

God I hope you read this before school tomorrow.
I hope that the whole world hears it so they can gather round to watch and chant me on as I make you bleed.
And don't think that skipping school will help. I will wait.

Let me ask you something Dan, just one thing. What the fuck was going through your mind as you told that lie to all my friends? What the hell was going through that pea-sized sorry excuse for a brain that you have? Was it perhaps "Look at the big man I am. I'm getting all my friends to laugh and fall out with Joe. Look at me with my red shirt and my ever-hard nipples"

And you think that red shirt is nice?
You think it reflects your personality?
What personality is that? You're vibrant? Naw hen... Maybe that you're supposed to stop? You know, to kill yourself because of the ugliness in front of you. Possibly you think you're hot? Look out guys this ones on the prowl! Asses to the wall! (A great quote from Jenny's dad... About you).

Fuck... Listen to me. I hate you more than Ryan. It's amazing what one little thing can lead to.

I can just imagine your sorry face now... With all the spots (Some of which covered in concealer) wrinkling up in laughter while inside you're already marking your tombstone. You're shitting yourself.

You will cry. You will bleed. You are going to cower in fear every time I throw a punch. You will suffer as I have suffered.

And that, my friend, is a promise.

I'm Barely Breathing

Saturday, August 21, 2004
Current Mood: Good. Very good
Current Music: Incubus- Sick Sad Little World

I did it.
Yup that's right.
I did it.
I finally showed Dan what I thought of him.
That's right folks.
I did it.
Took a lot of me too. We were walking for ages until I finally hit him. I didn't want to. But I had to. Just want people to understand that. It wasn't my choice. I had to do it.
It started off on friday. Dan had crossed a point of no return at lunch. He wasn't talking to me cos everyone was making fun of him for being Bi when they should be making fun of me as per usual. He aggravated me so much. I had to leave the room twice to stop from punching him.
So on the way to the centre after school I whispered to Jen that I was gonna fight him. She didn't believe me and told Chaz. Chaz didn't believe me and told Dan. Dan didn't believe me and laughed.
We got down to the underpass bit before the centre and I stopped and faced him. Chaz suddenly jumped in my way and tried to stop me. I just kept walking towards Dan as he kept walking backwards. He called me a "neanderthal"(Sp?) and he kept saying "You don't wanna do this"
Bastard.
If he listened to a word I was saying to him then he would realise that I didn't want to do this.
Ignorant bastard.
So we kept walking. Him backwards, me forwards. He eventually stopped and asked me not to do it i said "Too late"
And I hit him. 4 times in the shoulder, a few in his chest and ribs. I couldn't hit his face for some reason. And I pulled my punches. I have no idea why. I was so pissed off at myself after it though. I didn't hurt him enough. I dind't vent my rage properly. I didn't make him feel what I felt. That stinging pain of betrayal. Of back-stabbing. He is Cassius, I am Julius.
He didn't hit me back. He just stood thre trying to block with one hand. One hand? Easy to get through... Anyway, he didn't hit me back so I stopped hitting him after a bit. What's the sport in fighting if you've got no competition?
He started shouting at me, asking what the fuck I was doing and all. What does it look like I'm doing? A merry jig? Twat.
He started to go home but Chaz stopped him. I walked back to the centre, towards the crowd that had gathered at the underpass.
"Take a fucking picture why don't ya?"
They dispersed but I got a few stares walking through the centre after that. Twas fun.
I got a lift home from Jen. And that was my day.
i hve one regret though. I didn't tell him how I really felt. I even had a little speach planned. It went something like:
"Dan, considor this as the end of our friendship, and let me tell you a few things.
Just because you're gay or bi or whatever does NOT mean you can come up to me and judge what I wear.
When you do judge, take a good look at yourself and remember the tight red shirt.
My hair may be afro-like but at least it's better than the piece of shit that you style everyday.
Oh, and by the way, Copernicus called. THE WORLD DOES NOT REVOLVE AROUND YOU!!!"
That would've been fun to say, but I didn't. I can be such an ass sometimes.
Ah well.
I was gonna go to the monthly Halo thing today but I can't be assed going any more.
We're all going to the cinema tomorrow to see "The Village"
Can't wait to see Dan.
I actually want to see him. To see what his reactions are. You know. If he throws snide comments at me or he gives me looks.
Hahahaaa...
Bastard.
Stupid bastard.

I Am Nothing More

Thursday, August 19, 2004
Current Mood: Happy-ish
Current Music: K's Choice- Virgin State of Mind

Whooooo!!!!!!!!!!
I love Deviant Art!! It's sooooooooooo cool! I can post all my pictures with mums didgicam and they all look good!!!!!
*Dances*
If you want to see them then it's on My Deviant Art Page.
I recomend it for any artists or writers or anybody like that who wants their work out there.
Enjoy!!
Heheheeeee

I Will Save You

Current Mood: Moody
Current Music: Ana- We Are

AAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGG
I'm so pissed off at Danny it's so unbelievable!!!!
I just want to rip his head off and drink his blood!!!
Well maybe not that....
But I want to beat the shit out of him! He was just so.... AAAAARRRRRRRRGGGGGGGG!!!!!!!!!!!! He was just being the bastard that he usually is! I got the biggest urge to punch him on the way home today. But I turned around and walked home before I could act on it. If we weren't in the centre at the time then I would've clocked him one. Right accross the jaw. Followed by a triumphant stance before ducking his punch and ploughing into his stomache.
If you haven't guessed yet, I've been thinking of doing this for a while now.
He just makes me so angry. How can this be? I hear you ask. They were best friends not a month ago. How can he hate him so?
Easily.
Psshhh.
All I need is an excuse and I'll get him. Don't care when or where.
He has passed a line. This is the final straw. This is his last chance.
This is war.

It's All for You

Tuesday, August 17, 2004
He didn't notice it until the demon had hit the ground. The knife that was protruding out of his chest appeared to him as he looked down to gaze upon the slain. He looked at it in shock before realizing what it was. Surprisingly it didn't hurt. It just existed.
Alex let his sword clatter to the ground as he reached up to touch the end of the hilt. As he did this it seemed to trigger a response in him. The wound began to grow cold, losing all feeling around it. It was no longer part of his body, it was an alien thing to him. His hand steadily clasped around the knife and slowly slid it out of his chest.
Feeling rushed back to the wound as blood began to pour out of the hole that now existed in his heart, in his soul. He gasped and struggled for breath. He was drowning in a sea of air. His legs buckled beneath him and he fell to his knees before slumping forward to the ground.
He lay there, eyes glazing over, his head running with thoughts of life that had past. With thoughts of her.
He lay there. And died.

Remember Me

Current Mood: Good
Current Music: Incubus- Still Not A Player

This is kinda just a note thingy. Jenny? Jenny?! JENNY!!!!!!
When you check my e-mail can you go into the one that says Deviant Art or something like that on it. There should be a link or something in it. Now here's the tricky part. It's gonna take all the power of your brain to do this.......
Click on the link.
So to review.

1.Go into my e-mail
2.Go into an e-mail that has "Deviant Art" or something like that on it
3.Gather your mental and physical strength
4.Click on the link inside it

Thank ye much Jenny!

Failed Atempts to Fly

Current Mood: Tired
Current Music: Trying to get Outlaw Star to work

ARRRRGGG!!!!
I hate this damn PC!!!! I just spent 3 days downloading the first 9 episodes of Outlaw Star and it isn't working!!! ARRRRGGG!!!!
First day back at school today. Psshhh. We had to go to Beupre (Sp?) to be sorted into our classes. They called out the first class. I was in it. My friends weren't. I hate being at the bottom of the alphabet. It always causes so much tension. All the names were called out (None of my friends were called) and there was a pause before Laura Service and me. It was like:
"Blah blah, Blah blah, Laura Service and......" Holding my breath ".....Joseph [LAST NAME]."
Then in the silence that followed I whispered a very audible "Shit". Some people turned round to stare at me it was so loud. Wasn't too bad though. I got to sit beside John. It was great fun. We only did 2 pages of work because we talked so much. And no homework! All the other classes got homework except us.
^_^
I'm not in any of Jenny's classes anymore. Shame really. Can't annoy the hell out of her.
*Sigh*
Will miss it I will.
But I have to sit beside Dan in 2 classes now. It's ok kinda. I'm still really really REALLY pissed off at him. Lying bastard. ARRRRRGGGGGGGGG!!!!!!!
I was ripping it out of him in Chemestry though. It was great fun. He was bitching to me about his acne and I told him to cut the crap and stop eating the fucked up foods he has. It's like nothing but grease and sweets.
"Shut up Joe. And anyway, scientists have discovered that stuff like that has nothing to do with spots"
"Yeah, and at the same time they discovered a flying pig."
That was a class come back if you ask me. Heheheeee.
I'm looking at the post I made on Sunday night. I was really messed up. Hah! I'm usually like that but I have enough sense to shut my mouth.
Went to see Catwoman yesterday. It's a good film. If not a little bit pervy at some bits. I didn't mind though. ^_^
We were in the back row and it was so much fun. There was no one in front so I put my feet up to rest and Danny used his cup as a hat. Then I started throwing popcorn at them when they asked me if I was turned on. Shame Heatherbell couldn't come. They dragged me to Our Lady Of Lourds afterwards though. Boring as fuck. They just stood there being nostalgic and all while I stood thinking. I satrted to kick about a stone but they shouted at me when it hit their "precious gates". Funny as hell though.
Today was good. Except for lunch. Everyone just seemed to ignore me. Unless it was for an insult. It was like:
Dan:"Why are people selebate?"
Me:"Because they devote their body and mind to God or something."
Dan:"Why isn't anyone answering?"
Me:"Because they devote their body and mind to God"
Dan:"Helloooo?"
Heather:"Cause they can't get any in the first place."
Me:"Body and mind for God!"
Dan:""Good one. But seriously why do they do it?"
Me:"FOR GOD!!!!!"
Dan:"Did you say something?"
*Head explodes*
I had to go up to see my computing teacher because I left my glasses in the class. I knocked on the door and my old spanish teacher came out and started asking me 20 questions about my results. Couldn't be bothered. I hated her. She made me dislike spanish. It was a fun language until she got her hands on it. Lolz.
My MSN is still down. Psshhh. I had to get Jenny to check it for me yesterday. Apparently there's tons from my dad and from Micheal. Psshhh. At least she deleted the ones I got from WR. Woot!
Heheheeee. I love that word. Never use it though.

"I see your face and every punch I take, and every bone I break, it's all for you.
And my worst pains are words I cannot say, still I will always, fight on for you."
Yellowcard - Gifts and Curses

Kick-ass song.Another example of Dan insane-ness. He was talking about songs to download from True Crime (The Game), and he started talking about this song by Taproot but he wasn't sure what it was. He started quoting from it it and he said "This song is a something something, it haelps me to something. In case of fire, break the something". Of course I knew the damn song you Cum Dribbling Asshole. I had tried to make him download it a few months back but he said it was a piece of shit. I started to shout at him but he started to ignore me again.
What a bastard!
WR is as dead as a graveyard at the moment. It's like 8 in the morning where they all are. Blue3023 is on though. And in 3 hours I'm gonna have my drawing!!
*Dances*
Since I drew a Fire Dude for her she's returning the favour and drawing some one for me. Woot! She's gonna draw me a guy named Alexander that I described to her. Wheee! Then I'll have something to edit! She always does Lineart so it's gonna be soooooooo cool.
Thank ye Blue!!!

The Sickening Sound of Me

Sunday, August 15, 2004
Current Mood: Heavy
Current Music: None

*Laughs*
I'm one screwed up kid, let me tell ya.
*Laughs*
I don't deserve to live really... But I'm gonna. Just to spite Him. You know who I mean... Big Guy in the sky. The rat bastard that screws people over.
Why give us pain oh mighty Lord? Why give us suffering? Why?
*Laughs*
I'm really fucked up the now.
*Giggle*
When I'm tired, I say things that I mean, but don't really mean. Things that I think but I never say. Hah. Long day. Longer night.
What am I on?
Almost midnight. Heheeee.
Told people on Warriors realm about what I said on my last post. Only one reply. From Koori no less. She says to considor the friendship. Hahahaaaa.
Jenny's prob gonna read this, like she usually does. And she's gonna be mad. Not just cos I said those things about Dan, but because I'm making her read 5 posts.
New record.
Heheheeeee.
I need to go now. Bed time. Hahaaaaa.
I think I've gone mad.
I'll see ya when I see ya.

Cure For the Itch

Current Mood: Confused
Current Music: Switchfoot- Meant To Live

Dan just called. Turns out that he can come out tomorrow. And I feel shit because of it. It's not that I don't want him to come, it's just that I don't want him to come.
AARRRRRGGGGGG
I still don't like him! FOR CHRISTS SAKE. I HATE MY HEAD!!!! It always comes up with shit for me to get confused about. I'm still pissed off at him for lying. Or is it something else?
I feel betrayed by him. That's it. I feel betrayed by the bastard. He's my best friend. Is he still? I don't know anymore. I don't know anything.
He went behind my back. He said shit about me behind my back. I can't defend myself like that, and he knows it. If he said it when I was there then I could object to it, but since I was away then I couldn't do anything. The worst thing is that it could've ruined a friendship.
I HATE HIM.
But at the same time I don't.
Why couldn't he have just shut his filthy mouth? Why did he have to say stuff about me? WHY?
I can't trust him. At all. Not with anything.
SHIT
I want to shout at him! I want to shout at him until he feels as fucked up as I do! I want to shout at him until he retreats into a corner and cowers! I want to scream and shout until my lungs explode!
I want to hit him. I want to beat him into a bloody pulp. I want to make his face unrecognisable. I want him to be identified by the blood that has been splattered over the wall. But I want him to live. I want him to live with knowledge of what it feels like.
FUCK
I hate myself!!!! He's my fucking best friend yet I hate him. Hearing his voice on the phone almost made my skin crawl. Almost made me want to retch.
AAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG
Why am I saying this? He's my best friend!! I don't even say this about Ryan!
I'm messed up.
I don't hate Dan. I don't want to kill him. I don't want to do anything to him. I just... I just want him to know.

Enter the Gates of Hell

Current Mood: Peeved
Current Music: Wierd Al Yankovic- Eat It (Spoof Of Beat It)

I HATE THIS PC.
As you can tell I haven't got MSN working. There is no reason why it should be broken. It just is...
I phoned everyone too. The total amount of time I spent on the phone was 1 minute. Psshhh. Jenny was fine with it and I've got to phone her back when everythings sorted, Dan could be going out with Louie, Heatherbell ain't allowed out (Surprise surprise), and Chaz is out the now. Their answer machine is so funny though! It's like:
*ring ring*
*ring ring*
"Hello. Your call cannot be recieved right now. Please leave a message after the beep with the date and time of your call. Thank you."
*Beep*
"Hi Charlotte it's me Joe, call me when you get this. Bye. Oh! Wait! The date is the 15th of August at 25 past 5. Thank you and goodbye."
*Hang up*
Twas fun. I laughed for a bit after that...
I need to phone her back though. Annoying. And now I have a headache!!!!
Bastard!
I hate headaches. I don't even take any tablets for it, I just let it run it's course. No idea why though. I'm just an idiot I suppose.
I'm bored now, so I'm gonna write stuff in my other (secret) Blog. No one knows about that one.
Wait a sec....

The Never Ending Nightmare

Current Mood: Even More Exhausted
Current Music: Lost Prophets- We are Godzilla, You are Japan

Well, that was pointless. I spent the las half hour emptying all the books in my room on to the floor only to realise that I had already done this befor the summer. So I had to pack it all up again. I'm REALLY tired now.
I love reading other peoples Blogs or Live Journals. Their lives are so interesting, more than mine at least. Psshhh.
Damn heat, making me sleepier.... I'm screwed up right. I complain when it's too cold and bleak, and now I complain when it's hot and sunny. I'm kinda retarded. lol.
Am running out of space on my computer. Me and Chris checked on Friday night (Or was it Saturday morning?) and we've only got 19 gigabytes left. Out of 52 gigs. My folder only takes up 5 gigs while Chris' is 15 gigs. He's got so much crap in his folder! And he keeps installing crap anti-virus thingies and leaving them on. Psshhh.
I'm still trying to figure out a way to fix MSN and Hotmail. The help service is absolute shit, and the phone service is through the roof. Piece of shit.
I'm gonna log off my user to see if it works on mums. I can't be arsed with any of this but I have to do it if I want MSN back.
Psshhh.

The Regrets of Living

Current Mood: Exhausted
Current Music: The Red Hot Chili Peppers- Right On Time (Live)

I hate cutting the grass. You take all the time to cut it and make it look nice before it grows again. Typical. And when you get back inside you have to hoover the carpet because you dragged dirt and grass in. I'm so sleepy now...
Am gonna call Jenny later, see if she wants to go out tomorrow for the last day of the summer holidays. I'll prob get Chaz and Heatherbell to join us. Am not sure about Danny though. I still feel really pissed off at him. I really do want to hit him, and shout at him. I've even got this little dialouge in my head about what to say to him and stuff.
Bah!! I need to come off for a bit while I sort out my old and unused school books.
*Sigh*
I don't wanna go back to school.

The Darkest Shade of Fears

Friday, August 13, 2004
Current Mood: Sleepy
Current Music: Foolproof- Paper House

Well that was fun. I just spent the last hour outside. I had forgotten what sun looked like... When did it become yellow? Anyway, I walked up to the school and it was - how you say - completely empty. I continued up to the office and met Mr.Mulvey Snr. He looked at his watch, looked at me, looked at his watch, looked at me, looked at his watch-
"I'm here to change my subjects" I quickly interupted him before he would continue on. He looked at his watch again.
"You're a bit late. There's only Mrs.Haeburn-"(Sp?)"- left in the building. Go see her."
So I waited outside her door for 20 minutes while she talked to some one on the phone. She eventually finished and ushered me in quickly. Closing the door behind her she ran behind her desk and shuffled some things about. I started to sit down but had to stop in mid-action.
"No time for that... Chris? No sorry, Joe. You look so much like your brother. What can I do for you?"
Her usually hard and angry face was smiling at me. I felt uneasy. "I'm here to change my subjects. I want to change from an Int2 to a Higher."
She perked up slightly. Now I was terrified. I'd never seen her anything but mad. "That's excellent!" She replied, "What were your results?"
I told her and she took note of my name and change to tell to my Guidance Teacher. She then started packing up really quickly and she practically pushed me out the door while she asked me about Chris' results.
"Why are we in such a hurry?" I asked as she locked her door.
"I got a memo saying that the Janitors were going to lock up in 10 minutes"
"That's fine! We got ages to get out yet."
"I recieved the memo 15 minutes ago."
"Ah"
I bolted down the corridor and ran into the locked exit. Out of the corner of the window I saw a figure walk away so I hammered as hard as I could. The figure stopped and came back and I breathed a sigh of relief as he unlocked the door. Thank God I wouldn't have to be locked in a school with a teacher.
I just realised that today is Friday the 13th.
WHOOOO!!!
I loves friday the 13th! Twas the day I was born on. And it's always been my luckiest day.
WHOOOO!!!!
And that's me. My bro has come home early from work and he's in a fucked up mood so I'd better come off now. He can be a right bastard sometimes. That's crap, I shouldn't say that. He's a right bastard all of the time.
Jenny got a new phone too. A flippety-dippety one with a camera. She's gonna show me on Tue. Psshhh. I don't get shit like that for my exams. Crapy poor family. (If you can't tell right now I'm kinda angry).
I'll see ya when I see ya.

Bring Out Your Dead, Push Them to The Side Where The Dead Go

Current Mood: Sick
Current Music: Dashboard Confessional- Vindicated

Bah humbug.
That's right, I said Bah followed by a nice little humbug. And there ain't anything you can do about it. Ha! That's right. I said Ha followed by a ! and there ain't nothing you can do about it.

There are Gods, little one.
Some are worshipped.
Some are feared.
Some are worshipped out of fear.
Others have been forgotten;
For better or for worse.

I think that it was kinda freaky that I was listening to "What if God was one of us" when I did that.... Hmm.
I hate having a cold. And sore throats. They're annoying. I was up till 3 this morning cause of my fucked up nose and soar throat. I downed 8 glasses of water too and was almost dead when I got up. Pssshhhh. IT'S SUMMER!!! Why do I get colds in summer and nothing in winter!
I'm on this amazingly funny site right now. It's NuklearPower's comic site and it deals with Final Fantasy-like characters and their (hopeless) quest to save the world. It's really good. Almost as good as VGCats.
I love creating links. ^_^
YOU! Go here!
Clicky Clicky!
You know you want to.
It's so funny!
Need to go to school later. Need to change my subjects from a Chem Int2 to a Chem Higher.
*Ish so proud of results*
I was gonna go with Jenny but I couldn't be arsed doing it a 10am. I'm barely awake by then.... I can't be bothered going though. I don't wanna walk 2 miles to school just to change something and walk 2 miles all the way back. Psshhh.
I hate this time of day. It's like there's no one on anywhere. Why'd my favourite site have to be Australian?!?! Thet're time is so outta wack compared to ours that No one is on. EVER. Well, except at 4am. And my brain isn't even open for business then.
I'm setting off now. Will be back though to fill in exciting details about my adventure. Am looking forward to it.
I'll see ya when I see ya.

When Gifts Turn to Curses

Thursday, August 12, 2004
Current Mood: Happy
Current Music: Sugarcult- Daddy's Little Defect

That was so much fun! "I, Robot" is a good film, go see it if you can. Tis well worth a watch. But that wasn't the best bit of the day. After the film ended we headed down to the bus stop to catch a bus home. Luckily we got there in the nick of time and we scrambled onto the bus behind Francine Martin (A girl from our school). And sat in the empty row in the back. Feeney then started going on about his perfect exam results. I didn't mind, he had got good results and was pleased with it. He deserved a bit gloating.
As soon as he got off the bus though, Francine turned around from the seat behind me and asked "Does he ever shut up about his exam results?"
"Do you know how rude it is to eves-drop?"
"Does he though?"
I turned to face her. "He didn't expect to get it and he's chuffed about it."
"So?"
"Don't tell me you didn't gloat about your results. Congrats on that by the way"
"How did you know?"
"Collette told me"
"Thanks. What you get?"
I told her my results.
"That's good"
"It ain't 8 ones but I'm proud. I gotta go now. See ya at school"
And I left laughing. I was laughing through the heavy rain on the way to my house. I dunno why, I just thought it was so funny.
The film was good though. Very... Action filled. Which I like. Not some pussy story about a girl getting her wish to become 30. Psshhhh.

Dieing with Dogs

Current Mood: Bouncy
Current Music: Sugarcult- Saying Goodbye

NARUTO!!!! WHOOOOOO!!!
I'm downloading the entire first DVD of Naruto. It's 3 and a half GIGAbytes for Christs sake, but it's worth it. It's a modern day Ninja story about a boy named Naruto (Duh) who's been infused (I love that word) with the spirit of a Demon Fox. I've had nothing but good reviews from it so I'm gonna watch it. Downside is that if it continues on with the speed it's downloading, I'll be able to watch it sometime next week....
Ah well. After this I'm gonna download Cowboy Bebop and Outlaw Star. I saw outlaw star on Toonami last night and it was pretty good while Cowboy Bebop is supposed to be amazing. Big O is quite confusing and Chris Colorado should be renamed to Crap Colorado (See my pun?).
I was up until 2 in the morning last night! I was just watching anything good that came on and settled on Toonami. Watch a whole load of shit. And they swear! On a kids channel! I suppose since it's after watershed but still... On Outlaw Star this kinda ninja rat woman thingy called a terrorist a "bastard loving piece of shit"
Was hilarious.
Given up on Naruto. On closer inspection it was the Spanish version so I tried downloading another version. Turns out that it was Aussie only. Strange. I thought that Australia was PAL....
Don't care anymore. Am currently downloading the Rasmus' Dead Letters album. Just so I can get one song from it. It ain't my fault that my WinMX is fucked!
Danny, need to tell you something. Chris has beat you. He has done the impossible and beat you. He has OVER 1000 SONGS. Hah! You said that you ruled! And he listens to them all! And he has class songs instead of your shitty dance stuff. Heheheeee.
I'm kinda hyper but I don't know why. That's worrying ain't it? Especially since I haven't had breakfast yet.... Speaking of breakfast, my cleaner hasn't arrived yet. I know that the 2 seem unrelated but I'm usually having my breakfast by the time she walks in but she isn't here. She's 2 hours late!
*Is suspicious*
Am going to see "I, Robot" with Feeney today. Leaving at 13.15 so I'm off here early. Dunno if I'll be back for ages though.... I'm running out of money now. Got £20 left after having £50 when coming back from Dads. Pffft.
Wheee!
*Spinning in chair again*
I should do this more often.
My file finished downloading now. Tis ok. Not too great. Except for "Time To Burn". It kicks ass and takes names.
Heheheee. I love that phrase.
.....
I got nothing to do again!!!
.....
I'll talk to Kitty. Haven't done that in months. Wonder what she's been up to.... If you don't remember, Kitty was the girl that I was doing an Rp with a while back that eneded in a dead end. Was fun though. I just checked her Blog and LiveJournal and she doesn't really update them too much. Ah well.
I wonder about Ryu aswell. He was this writer guy that was writing this book on his Blog or something. But he was kinda wierd and by the look of it he has gone nuts. Lolz. He probably reads this or something. Lolz.
As far as I know I only have 2 readers, Jenny and Micheal. Hi y'all. If there is anyone else then please comment. I like to know that I'm being listened to.
Wow that was unbelievably sad.
I'm gonna get Chaz to check my e-mail next time I see her, just until I can get it back up. She's the only one I can trust now. Danny lies about shit, Jenny is a gossip (Sorry Jen) and Heatherbell doesn't have the ethernet. So Chaz wins by default! Lolz.
It's all gloomy outside now. IT'S SUMMER!!! GIVE ME SUN!! Not that I care anyway. I got a really nice tan from France and England but it would be nice to have some warmth. It's resting at an indifferent 21 degrees. And now it's raining!!
Good thing I'm getting a lift to the centre.
I'm off now. Nothing to do really.
I'll see ya when I see ya.

Dreaming with Demons

Wednesday, August 11, 2004
Current Mood: Munchy
Current Music: Deftones- Minerva

Munchy? First word that pooped into my head really. I've just had my lunch and I ain't hungry anymore, but I want to eat something. And there isn't anything in the house!!! Mum should've gone shopping before she left. And she took her Digi Cam!! I can't even take photos of my pics and put them up on the ethernet. I did this really good one last night of a girl holding a bloodied up sword. Definately one of my best.
I downloaded RPGMaker too. Ain't that good. I'm going through the basics and it's as boring as hell. And I can't even figure out how to place a character on the map to flipping start the thing. Might aswell just abandon it.
Phoned Feeney. We're gonna go see something tomorrow. Dunno what. Guess what though. Guess what he got in his exams. Go on. Wanna know? 8 ones. Rat bastard. Lolz. That's crap, I'm glad for him. Doesn't stop me from being jealous though.
Micheal probably got the same though. If you read this Micheal then tell me your results in the comment section. PLEASE!!!
I have a story! For the first time in ages I have one!
Gather round in a circle kiddies so I can tell you the almost magical story of "Joe at breakfast".
I woke up this morning after Chris and mum got up late to go to work (They work, I stay at home) and started to shout at each other. They eventually leave so I drag my body out of bed and slump down the stairs to watch some tv. After a few episodes of Fairly Odd Parents and Two Guys and a Girl I get up to make myself some breakfast. I got myself some Coco Pops and milk and started to eat it while starting up the Pc. While the comp was loading up I smelt this really wierd odour and I thought it was the Pc. But it turned out to be my breakfast. I go back into the kitchen and throw it down the drain before examaming the milk bottle. Here's the best part kids. IT WAS 12 DAYS OUT OF DATE. I went up to my bathroom again and forced myself to throw it up so I wouldn't be sick. How ironic.
Nowt to do now. Might play PSO for the first time in ages. Need to wait for primter to finish first though. Or I might just draw. Uggh.
My cat just came into the room. Been in a fight. Again. There's a new cat on the street and it doesn't have any territory yet. It keeps coming into our garden so George needs to fight it. I usually have to intervene though. A well aimed water hose did the trick once. ^_^
Am gonna leave yas now, can't be arsed to do anything except draw. So guess what I'm gonna do? You guessed it. Watch TV. Lol.
Can't wait until I get my e-mail back, then I can get a Deviant Art account and post my pics properly. Ah well.
I'll see ya when I see ya.

Dancing with Angels

Current Mood: Thoughtful
Current Music: Blink 182- Down

Tidal waves may rip right through me, tears from eyes worn, cold and sad, pick me up now, I need you so bad.
Sorry, just what I was listeneing to at that moment in time.
I have an empty! My mums away for 3 days to relax or something and she's left me and Chris alone in the house. For 3 days! Tis great.
Not gonna do anything though. I'm not stupid. Well... Not that stupid.
I got nothing to do!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I just finished that collage thing. It has 9 pictures total and it looks pretty good (IMO). Now I gotta figure out a way to post it on here.... Methinks I'll put it on Faceparty, but then I have no idea on how to actually.
*Looks at instructions*
Figured it! Am putting it on Faceparty so I can create a URL Link to it here. Smart huh? But I need to put everyones names on it so it don't look like I'm taking the credit.... And in the process I almost crashed my comp. Just great.

I hope this works....
Bloody hell! It's fucking micro!!! If you want to see it properly then you can save it to your comp. It should be much bigger then.
Pffft.
Now I really have nothing to do. I could d/l RPG Maker 2K3 but I can't be arsed. And I need more music!!!!! Since my connection's crapped up I can't d/l any more songs! And my mail has probably over flowed by now with all the notifications from my Forums....
*Cries*
I have to wait till I get back to school to read them... crap.
I could phone Feeney. Haven't seen him in a good 6 1/2 weeks. Go to the cinema or something. I, robot? Any good? No idea.
Why oh why am I having a convo with myself?
I dunno.
Why should you know? You're me.
Then why'd you ask me?
Cos I'm talking to myself. Duh.
You're hopeless.
That means you are too you know.
Shut up.
...........
Maybe I should look for the Maker after all.

You think it's almost over, but it's only on the rise...

Tuesday, August 10, 2004
Current Mood: Kinda down
Current Music: Inme- Faster the Chase

Chris just called. Wanted me to open his higher results for him. So I did. Wish I didn't.
He was expecting an A in computing, and a C in the rest (English, Maths, Physics) but he didn't. He got a B for Comp, a C for English and D's for Maths and Physics. He was sounding so depressed over the phone! He only said one sentence but I could tell he was depressed. Here's how it went.
*Phone rings*
"Hello?"
"Joe, it's me."
"Mum said you would call."
"Yup"
"You want me to open it?"
"Yup"
"You sure?"
"Certain"
"Sure?"
"Certain"
"Sure?"
"Joe!"
"Ok then"
I tell him his results.
"Ok. Thanks."
"Bye"
*Hung up*
I feel so sorry for him....
I'm having fun with pictures. I've drawn 3 today! 2 of them weren't mine to begin with but I copied them off the comp and they turned out really good. The 3rd one is a guy that I call- wait for it- "Fire Dude" Cool name eh? Lolz. I give messed up names to all my pictures. I got this really good one of a guy facing you and I called it "Hmm". And I found a really good picture done on MSPaint so I named it "Holy Cow"
I'm trying to find a way to post my pictures on here but they already need to be on the net.... Maybe I should create a fake Faceparty acount and store some pics on it..... I wonder....
Yay! I found the last pic for my collage. It's a really old one that I saw on WR but I forgot about it. But it's blue.... Which means some editing from your favourite writer!
Wow.... I'm writing this, so technically I'm a writer.
Deep.
Whooo! PARTAY!!!!
People on WR are throwing me a party cos of my exam results. Not a real one, just an off topic thing. Before you say anything it is NOT sad. Heheheeee. I just brought in the booze. Lolz.
I just went to the toilet for the 5th time in an hour. I should stop drinking this coke (I've had like 15 glasses).
Koori snatched my booze! And my vodka soaked fruit juice!
Wow. This does sound really sad now, I'm off.
I'll see ya when I see ya.

When the voice within just won't shut up

Current Mood: Ecstatic
Current Music: RHCP- Roller Coaster

Wheee!!!!!!!!
I've been spinning round in my chair for the past 10 minutes and I ain't getting sick!
WHEEEEE!!!!
I'm having a good day. I got good exam results, I got 200 posts on Warriors Realm (Go me!), I had 3 celebratory cokes for my results (And my friends) and I ain't gettin sick after spinning in a chair! Wheeeee!!!!
Went to the cinema with peeps yesterday, twas fun except for 13 going on 30.... IT'S CRAP. I wanted to hit Dan but there were too many security cameras nearby. Which was crap. We made up though, like 3 minutes before we left though. ^_^
Bought my first anime dvd too. They all went into Superdrug to get shit so I ducked into HMV for a few minutes to look for the Sugarcult CD. They didn't have it so I wandered over to the anime section (The idiots labeled the area "Manga") to look at a few of them. I picked up the first Hellsing dvd and Jenny and Chaz came up behind me and started shouting at me.
They started going on about Hentai and stuff and what I was looking at. I said that it was to do with violence and stuff. They were like "How can cartoons be violent?" and I'm like "Anime was violent because of some of the stuff it shows. " And they were like "Yeah right"
So I bought it. And one day they're gonna watch it and see that it ain't all cuddly shit and sick porn. Some of it is quite grusome. There's a bit where a woman gets a sword through her throat and blood is flying everywhere. And when a priest gets shot in the head only to come back again and stab the (good) vampire with about eight swords that all go through him. I might actually watch it again.
I left the shop and the first thing Heather asked me was "Did you just spend £20 on cartoons" I started to explain for the billionth time that it wasn't just a cartoon but I gave up and said yes.
I saw Louie too. Whooo! She's working at savers and I had to help her get change. We walked all the way up to the Post Office in the rain, stood in a very large queue only to find that we went to the wrong Post Office! Was good though. She told me about her new Skater boyfriend and shit, and I told her about my summer. Twas cool.
Went home, watched my dvd, made dinner, fell asleep. My live is just riveting isn't it?
Am currently editing sketches that I got of the net and adding them to my collage. I only need 1 more to complete it (I think, maybe 2) then I'll post it on here or something.
Am bored now so I'll watch Hellsing again.
In the name of God, impure souls of the living dead shall be banished into eternal damnation. Amen.
I'll see ya when I see ya.
Wheeee!!!!!!
*Still Spinning*

RESULTS

Current Mood: Frazzled
Current Music: RHCP- Otherside

OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG
OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG

I'm getting them today!

*Breathes in and out heavily*

Holy Jesus in a handbag!
All my family is counting on me to get good results!
And I have to get better than my brother did last year!
And the post ain't coming till noon! (Tis 08:55 now)

*Cries*
These are the results to my standard grades btw.
I've failed chemestry. I know it.... And probably art too.

*Tears out hair*

Bloody mother fucking postman. I WANT MY LETTER!!!

*Checks watch and sees that 5mins have passed*

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!

*Hears a thump from behind*

What the fuck?

*Goes to investigate and comes running back*

HOLY FUCKING SHIT IT'S EARLY
IT'S HERE
I DON'T WANNA OPEN IT......
AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
......................................................................
YEEEEEEESSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WHOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!! OH MY FUCKING GOD!!!!!!!!!!!!! WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!
I DID IT!!!!!!!!!!!

FIVE ONES, TWO TWOS, AND A THREE.
I PASSED CHEMESTRY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I got ones in: Computing, English, Geography, Maths, and Physics.
I got twos in: Chemestry and Spanish
And a three in: Art

YES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Walking in Circles

Sunday, August 08, 2004
Current Mood: Hot. Too hot... Is that a mood?
Current Music: Utada Hikaru- Simple and Clean (Translated)

I'm back again!!!!
*Dances*
I took a plane back from my dads house this afternoon and am once again on-line! WHOOOO!!!!
But the crap thing is that my MSN's broken. <_> And I can't even get into my e-mail or anything! Chris says that it started just after I left and he doesn't know what happened. He lies like a flatfish. And Warriors Realm looks like it's down too so I can't even say hey to everyone and they changed fucking sites in Gamers Army! I lost all my posts, my status and now I have to re-register. They sent me an e-mail telling me where to go for the next step to register BUT MY E-MAIL IS DOWN. This is a great home-coming....
And WinMx is fucked up too!!! I got a whole load of songs to download and it isn't working! I even tried firing up my old Kazza but even that flopped on me. I think something's up with my connection. Phil gave me a ton of good songs to download, like Time to Burn (The Rasmus) and Leaving song (AFI). The leaving song is sooooooo good! It's like:
"Walked away, heard them say, poisoned hearts will never change. Walk away, again.
Turned away, in disgrace, felt the chill upon my face, cooling from within...."
Tis great.
I had good fun at dads though. He was at work most of the time so I just stayed out with Phil. We just walked and talked and we would end up miles from home and would need to phone to get get a lift back >.< It was great. My peeps never do stuff like that, we just walk about the centre and talk or go to the cinema or summit. Gets repetitive after a while. Meh.
I'm trying to take a picture of my drawings with my digi-cam instead of my web-cam and it ain't working. I'm gonna use mums to see if it comes out any better. I'll prob call Jenny tonight and see if what time she's going to da cinema at on Mon. Can't wait to see ma peeps again. ^_^
Except Danny though. He's been telling lies about me. Again. Rat bastard, going behind some ones back. I wouldn't mind if he did it to my face. Then again I would, since this is such a fucked up lie. He said that I wanted to... Wanted to have anal sex with Heather. Sick isn't it?
I didn't even like Heather. I just said I did so that Samantha would stop being so awkward. Funny huh? I'm willing to jeprodize my friendship with some one just so I could go out with some one else. I know. I'm screwed up.
I don't fancy anyone anymore. Is that a good thing or a bad thing? Least expensive I suppose. Phil has a girlfriend. Mel. She's dead nice. Ever since he became a goth I thought he hung around with gothy people. Like all "Life sucks" and "Satan rules" and "If you look at me again then I'll stab you" but she ain't. I was down there for three weeks and only met her the day I was supposed to leave. Great timing. I got her hotmail addy though so I can talk to her an shit. If my MSN was working at least. And she memorised my mobile number! I was texting her (Phil had no credit) and she just memorised it so she wouldn't have to look me up in her phone book. I was talking to her on Phil's front garden and she randomly said:
"I've memorised your mobile number"
I was surprised.
"Really? Go on then"
She rattles it off to me.
"Jesus Christ I don't even know it!"
Twas great. And earlier that day my Dad shouted at a preacher. We were walking through Bicester Town and some Christian preachers were in the middle of the street shouting "God is the way!" and "God commands thee to repent!" and kept handing out leaflets. After recieving over five leaflets I finally said to one "No thank you, I'm a Satanist" he backed away from me after that. It was really funny. Anyway, Dad got given a leaflet and the woman said "Jesus died on the cross for you sir"
"No he didn't" Came my Dads reply.
"Yes he did sir."
"No he didn't"
"He died for everyone here sir!" She shouted as he walked away.
"No he didn't!" he shouted back.
"May God forgive you for your blasphemy!"
My dad turned around and faced her (Some distance away), shouted back, "THERE IS NO GOD!", tore up the leaflet and walked off. I couldn't stop laughing. They avoided us after that. Brilliant.
I think I might come off and phone Jenny the now. It's boring on the comp now. No sites to visit. No songs to download. I don't even have any sketches to edit. And I can't find RPG Maker! I got RPG Toolkit at the moment and it's crap so I want RPG Maker. Phil has it and it's so easy to use! Pshhh. Crappy comp. Chris might buy us a new one though. He's got over a thousand squid from his job and he's thinking of buying either and I-Pod or a new Pc. I don't mind which he gets. As long as I keep my songs.
I think all of MSN is fucked up. It won't even let me register a new account. I'll ask Jenny. I'm off now. Can't be arsed staying on any longer. I'll probably be on later though.
I'M BACK!!!!
I'll see ya when I see ya.