Sleepwalking my way through life: June 2004



I am my only friend

Tuesday, June 29, 2004
Current Mood: Pissed Off
Current Music: Good Charlotte- The Click (Undergrads Theme)

I had a dream last night. A peculiar dream. It involved me, a deserted street, and some sort of monster. Funnily enough it wasn't a nightmare....
From what I remember, I was walking down this deserted street, it was kinda dark and huge skyscrapers were towering on either side of me. There was a slight wind blowing and some paper blew across the road (Very Western I know). So I reached these crossroads and there was this small ball of light thingy in the middle so I walk (Cautiously) over to it and touch it. I'm thrown back by something but manage to stay on my feet but a huge monster just sprouts out of the ground in front of me. It towers above me and does this kinda snort or snarl and all these claws shoot out from his back and go straight for me. I just stand there and they pause just before they get to me, as if testing my bravery or something. I suddenly had a sword in my hand so I got ready to fight it, but it stabbed me many times through the chest and legs before I could do anything. I looked to my left (Or right) and looked in a mirror that was suddenly there. I was totally naked and had blood leaking from me all over the place. I looked back at the monster and charged.
*Scene Missing*
The last thing I remember is seeing a blinding white light before I woke up. It was quite a fun dream from what I remember...
Just thought I'd tell you that. Since my life is oh so rubbish and needs a bit of dreams to liven it up a bit. Ah well.
It's Chaz's birthday today. HAPPY BIRTHDAY CHARLOTTE!!!!
And it was Heatherbells yesterday. HAPPY BIRTHDAY HEATHER... YESTERDAY!!!!!
I texted Charlotte at 12.15 last night cause I was too tired to read but too tired to go to sleep so I was thinking and shit. You know. About life and shit that I always think about. Anyway, I sat there thinking and I looked at the clock and thought, "Hmm. It's tomorrow already. Chazs birthday is today. Hmm." So I got my phone and texted her. Then I thought some more (About girls this time) before falling asleep.
I hate the summer. Well... I don't hate it. I just really dislike it. It's like this morning. I woke up this morning with the sun in my eyes. Then as soon as it woke me up it disappeared again. Crappy summer. When will it realize it and become sunny all the time. The other crap thing about summer is that it's 7 weeks of boredom. For me at least. It usually involves a month stay at my Dads which includes a yearly camping trip. And it also usually involves me not seeing my friends for ages. At least I'm going to France with Daniel for 2 weeks. I think it will be good fun but I'm afraid that by the end of it I'll want to rip his throat out. Which will probably be more likely than not. My temper has been so close to the surface recently. It's really annoying.
I think I might come off the comp for now. It's my day on it and I'm just going on it to annoy Chris but it's making me as bored as hell. I'll prob come back on in a couple of hours though. Just to do some more stuff before feeling too bored to carry on.
I'll see ya when I see ya.

The Blandest Of The Bland

Sunday, June 27, 2004
Current Mood: Bland
Current Music: The Killers- Mr.Brightside

It's raining outside. Isn't summer supposed to be dry?
*Shiver*
And warm?
Damn Scotland. Getting all the crappy weather.
I just downloaded the entire Killers album. They're quite good. Had a bit of a boring weekend (Not that anything I do is exciting anyway). Went to my Drama class yesterday. Handed in the script I made up. Played a few games. Walked home, listening to some good music cause i nicked my bros MP3 player. I got sent to my room for 6 hours because I gave my mum "some cheek". Read for 6 hours. Slept for ages. Woke up again. Changed my bed. Went to Homebase. Packed for France. And I've been on the computer for the past... I dunno... 2 Hours? Not as long as on Friday. I was on for 7 Hours on Fri. 5 till 12. Twas great fun.
I saw this shit scary link on Korri's LiveJournal. It's this subliminal messaging thing. Here it is. It shows 2 pics and tells u how they're subliminal messaging. The first one I didn't get. The second one... o_O and the last one was a Cradle of Filth Song. It said that when you listen to one of their songs backwards then you'll hear a prayer. It's really freaky because you hear it in a wierd voice. But halfway through it a screaming voice blasts out of the speakers and disgusting pictures of dead things and stuff flash on the screen.
I almost screamed it was so bad.
I've got nothing else to say so I'm just gonna leave this at that.
I'll see ya.

The Wierdness of Everyone Else BUT Me

Friday, June 25, 2004
Current Mood: Arrg
Current Music: Sugarcult- Hate Every Beautiful Day

LAST DAY OF SCHOOL!!!!!!!!!!
Yay! No more school for 7 WEEKS!!! Tis goin to be sooo much fun. A week today me and Danny are gonna be in France! *Does little dance* And I don't have to go to school and... Stuff.... What else am I doing? I'm going down to my Dads for a bit, then I'm getting my exam results in (FAIL). Then back to school. Blah.
I told Heather that I liked her yesterday. She took it pretty well, there's hardly any awkwardness between us (Which usually happens when I like some one). And it was fun today, although Jenny kept shouting "Joe stop looking at Heathers ass!" just to annoy me and make her pissed off at me. Very crap that was. We went to Pizza Hut today which was also fun. Samantha and Micheala (Sp?) came along too but didn't eat anything. Our waiter was such an idiot though, we all ordered Pepsi - except Jenny who wanted Fanta - and 5 of us ordered a buffet. The waiter asked them what they wanted and they said nothing. He brought them two menus.
Samantha got a few texts off of Jennifer Brown (A girl who really likes me) and she started to read them out. It all said stuff like "He's so sweet" and "I love him so much". Twas embarrasing. Then they wanted me to go out with her just to dump her again so that she'll like some one else.
But why should i do that? "Hi Jennifer, would you go out with me?"
*2 days later*
"Hi Jennifer, I know that we haven't been out together yet but I want to break up with you."
What's the point in that? Then everyone kept stealing my phone to write messages to her but I got it back before they did. Then they started saying things like "Heather will kiss you on the cheek if you do it" and shit. I'm like "Fuck off"
After that we went to Danny's house for heather and Chazs birthday party - which I was proud of because I didn't help with it at all - and they all got drunk. It was quite funny while they put vodka in their cokes while I sat sipping with my "virgin" coke. It was fun though. They made a giant mess - which I was also proud of because I didn't help with making it - and Danny cleaned it up - which, once again, I was proud of because I had no part in it - then we sat down and watched tv.
Then it got boring. he just flicked through all the musac channels (Skipping all the good songs) and settled on Charmed. That's when I started to get up and leave. I said my good byes ("I'll see ya when I see ya") and left. I walked home, listening to some good music, and I started to think (There's a first time for everything).
I thought about me, my friends, and about life in general. I quickly came to the conclusion that life sucks. It sucks ass big time.
And I'm going to leave you with one of my favourite sayings.
"Life's a bitch. Then you die"

The Wierdness of Me

Monday, June 21, 2004
Current Mood: I don't really know....
Current Music: Brand New- Sic Transit Gloria... Glory Fades

Heylow peeps. Haven't posted in ages so I thought I would add in a bit.
Not been doin much actually, Chaz fell out with me twice. Once cos I shouted that she was pregnant in R.S.McColls (Spelling?) and an old lady came up to her and said "It's better to be pregnant than to be pregnant with Aids" and walked away.
I couldn't stop laughing.
She fell out with me last night too cos I laughed at her when she said that she had fallen in love with Polly (Paul). I still laughed when she repeated it today when telling the others. She got me back though. She had made a notice and posted it up in the school. The notice said that Jenny had just had a baby.
And I was the father.
I kept getting congratulations and rounds of applause from random people down at the village and around school. It was kinda funny.... In a twisted sense. Jenny and Ryan (I HATE HIM) tried to get her back by doing one with her and Lawrence getting married and having twins. It sucked. But Chaz is gettin a picture of Jenny's head and she's getting me to put it on some guys body and put a title saying "Guess who's getting a sex change?".
That will be fun. What else happened today?
I told Louie who I liked. She was so excited and wanted to match us up. I'm like "No, last time you did that the girl I liked fell out with me" and she's like "And?", and I'm like o_o and she's like "Please" and I'm like o_o and she's like "PLEASE" and I finally gave in. I'm gonna regret that.

The Wierdness of Life

Tuesday, June 15, 2004
Current Mood: Still Deep
Current Music: Jimmy Eats World- The Middle

42.
The meaning of life that is. I just remembered. It's from the Hitch Hikers Guide to the Galaxy. A very powerful race built a giant computer to discover the meaning of life. After a hundred thousand years of processing the computer finally came up with an answer.
"42"
"The meaning of life?"
"Yes"
"That makes no sense."
"Of course not. Not without the question of life."
"Then what's the question of life?"
"Sorry. Can't help you with that. You need a bigger computer."
"How big?"
"Well...."
And Earth was created.
It's a really good book. But really confusing. It has time travel and parallel universes and whales.... Dizzying. Tis great fun though.
Anyway, back to my day. It was crap. My friends kept goin at me most of the day because they thought I go on Hentai (Anime Porn), like I would. Cartoons doing it... Not right...
So that really messed up my day. I was in a crappy mood for most of it. Not much else happened today. Except I went for an eye test after school. They say that I need glasses for far away things, like the board if I sit at the back of the class (Which I do in almost every class). I might wear them all the time cause they make me look kinda smart, and shorter (Which is good when you're my height). I ain't getting them until at least next week. Which is ok I guess, I won't look like a freak infront of my friends till next week, not that they don't think I look like a freak currently.
And another thing. I was meeting my mum outside the optitions so she could sign my forms, and I was walking down to the centre with Heatherbell and Chaz. When I left them and said g'bye an all me an my mum went into the optitions and Heather and Chaz both screamed "STONER" after me. Luckily she didn't hear.
Note to self: Flick Heather and Charlotte tomorrow.
And Chemestry today. ARRRG! We were doing loads of experiments and I got totally soaked by Alec. Then I was accused of getting a Blow Job off of Jenny and that I rimmed her (Not true btw). Damn G. He keeps making up rumours bout me an her cause he fancies her. So obvious. Anyway, I kept tapping Alec on the shoulder so he said that by the end of the period he will kill me with his own hands. Then he asked me to mark his words. So I did. I wrote down what he said in my Chem jotter. Just to remind him. All through the day G was taking photos of his ass. Not nice. Anyway, at the end of the period I look at Alec (With a very wet shirt after numerous soakings) and tell him that he has yet to kill me. He said "You thinking that I can't?"
"I'm thinking that you won't."
"Do you want me to?"
"Bring it on Bitch"
He shot his hand out to my throat and squeezed. I could feel my throat close up slightly and I started to rasp.
"You sure?"
I hooked him in the arm and he squeezed my throat shut before letting me go. I was on the table gasping for breath and coughing my brains out and the girl at the desk beside me says "Cover your mouth. We don't want your English germs"
I felt like fucking kicking the shit out of her. But I can't. Damn values. I glowered at her and sat back down waiting for the bell to ring. I was sooo pissed off.
I've just spent the last Hour and a half d/l like fifty songs. Maddy got into a frenzy this morning and started writing down tonnes of songs to download. I got most of them. And some of them are pretty good (Like the Bare Naked Ladies) but there are a few that are crap. But I'm keeping them just so my musac collection can grow.
I'm gonna leave now. The wierdness of life is calling back to the real world. Before you ask, I don't know what's up with my titles recently. I just write them. Wierd huh?
Good Day.

The restrictingness of the world around me

Sunday, June 13, 2004
Current Mood: Deep
Current Music: Simple Plan- I'd Do Anything

Is deep even a mood? Or is it a feeling. I have no idea but I'm really in a deepish mood right now. Like if anyone asked me what time it was I would say "Time? Time is realative, so the time I have may be different than the time you have. What's the point in that?" Then the person would stare at me for a while. "Half eight" I would finally say. That didn't actually happen but it's what I would say if I was asked that. Before you say anything I already know that I'm an idiot.
Went out today, and actually spent some money too. Me, Dan, Chaz and Jen went to the county fair. Heatherbell was supposed to go too, but her dad wouldn't let her cause some one almost got raped there the other week. It's a good enough reason but she should've rebeled a bit. She should've said that the place will be crouded and she'll be with her friends and that she's got me and *cough* Danny to protect her an shit. But she didn't. That's the only thing I don't like about Heather, her Dad. He's prob a nice guy an all but he is way over protective. And she doesn't even rebel against them like a teenager should.
It's like "Dad, can I go out today?"
"No"
"Ok then"
Tis really annoying. Especially when we're all going out. Any way, the fair. We stayed for about an hour doing nothing, just wandering randomly. We eventually got to the bit with the rides and we started to walk around seeing which ones we wanted to go on. We saw this twirly thingy that span u up in the air and we were deciding if we wanted to go on it or not and Danny started to bitch about it. He started to say that he would be sick and stuff, then he watched it go round and round and round and he said that he was going to be sick and he ran. Twas funny.
He didn't throw up but we left any way. On the way back to the Centre we were behind a group of Neds so Danny an Chaz decided to change our route so we could avoid them. We were fine about that, until they started telling us stories of when they were chased and how Neds are "Bad news". And me and Jenny were laughin at them. They think that since we haven't had the same experiences as them. But yes I have been in fights with Neds before and yes I have been chased. I'm not gonna tell them that (Though when they read this they'll prob find out). They don't realise that I actually know how to fight. I wouldn't cower and hide and shit. What's the point in that? If you're getting beaten by a group of Neds then fight back. Hit as many as you can. Go down fighting. No point in curling up in a ball if you can do some damage eh?
Any way, back to the centre. Chaz an Dan took another route cause they didn't want to be confronted by the Neds. Me an Jen ignored them and went our own way. And guess what? Nothing happened. Danny an Chaz can be such pussies sometimes. We met up again, had some Mickey D's and went home. I get home, watch a DVD and go on the computer. I start to talk to Danny and he's in a really pissed off mood.
Really pissed off.
I tried to cheer him up and I was kinda succesful. He just kept logging on and off randomly. It was quite funny. I had dinner and when I got up to go back to the computer I noticed a lump beside my couch. At first I thought it was George and that she had done a shit on the carpet, but closer inspection I found something much worse. A dead Robin was torn open and its insides leaking out. I cleaned it up (EEEWWWW) and shouted at George. She just stared lazily at me so I threw her outside.
Then mum kept askin me who I liked. And it was really annoying because I kept answering these questions on default. It was really strange. I eventually shut my mouth and ran out the room (Before you ask, I'm not going to say who on here).
And now I'm being told to come off so I'll try to fill in more next time.
I wonder what the meaning of life is....

So tired.....

Friday, June 11, 2004
Current Mood: Sleepy
Current Music: Deftones- Minerva

Friday! At last I can sleep! I've been back at school for the last week and I am knackered. I need to get up at 7! And then drag my body out of bed, dress (God forbid), and get out the house for 8 so I'm not late. And it's not even sunny anymore! It's this damn squall that's above. There was a lightning storm yesterday but I was in the house so it was no fun. Any way, back to school.
It's soooo boring! We get double periods and all that crap so we get double the bordemness! It's like I'm in Physics with Louie and the bell rings so I pack my stuff to go. I'm halfway out the door before the teacher asks me what I'm doing. I stop for a second, think, then return sheppishly to my seat where Louie is shaking with laughter. Tis annoying it is. And that's not the only thing. We had an assembly on the first day and MrsHaeburn (Spelling?) told us how it's no fun and games anymore (Where we having fun before?) and how "This is the hardest year of your lives". For Christ sake woman! What a way to motivate us.
I ain't got much else to share this time round. Except for Phantasy Star Online! IT KICKS INTERSTELLAR ASS. It really is amazing though. I've met sooo many people and it's so much fun. Buy it d/l it steal it I don't care as long as you get it. Now. Now.
NOW

Brush with Death

Friday, June 04, 2004
Current Mood: Narked
Current Music: Lost Prophets- Cry Me a River

DAMN INTERNET! I am currently trying to download Phantasy Star On-Line for the PC. It's like 85Mb big and it takes me almost three hours to download. I'm only 12% through it right now but I was 59% through it 20mins ago. 59%! It was going sooo well! Then the download window flashed up saying "Download disconnected. Server has reset."
I was still fine at this point cause I thought that if I re-download it it will go twice as fast. Like in Kazza or WinMx. But it didn't. It's going at the exact same speed. Grrrrr. I kicked the hard drive after that and hurt my toe..... :(
And my cat tried to kill me this morining. All in all not a good day.
I was lying in bed this morning when my cat came upstairs. My door was slightly ajar so she came into my room (As she usually does during the day to sleep). She started meowing in my ear so I got up and made a small bed out of my clothes on the floor for her to sleep in. She quickly curled up into a ball and fell asleep. As did I.
I woke up coughing because something was in my throat. I tried to breathe in but something was blocking my mouth. I openned my eyes and saw nothing but fur. I sat up with a start and I felt claws digging into the side of mr hair as George tried to stay on. I started to pull at her and shout put she wouldn't budge so I.... Bit her. It tasted disgusting btw but she jumped off after that to let me breathe. I coughed up quite a few hairs and went into the bathroom to clean up the blood that was now running down my back. Not nice. Now I've got another bloodied up top. Just great.
My download is now up to 38%. Oh Goody. I can't wait to play it though. I love Phantasy Star On-line. It's really amazing. You get to fight all these different things in real-time on the net with actual other people! Tis good fun.
I got to go now so I'll try and write in later.....
Good Day.

Almost morning sickness

Wednesday, June 02, 2004
Current Mood: Meh
Current Music: Muse- Hysteria

It is morning if you haven't guessed yet. Although the time down the bottom says diffferently. Damn time zones. Anyway, I woke up today feeling ok with myself and I laid in my bed thinking about what to do today. I thought, "I'll get up, get breakfast, go on PC for a while, take some pics of my drawings, clean my room, and go to centre with Jenny." After I sort that out I get out of bed, get dressed and fall down the stairs.
I eventually got up again and walked into the kitchen while rubbing my hurt elbow and got myself some breakfast. When that was safely down gullet (It's a great word isn't it?) I walked out into the living room and ran as fast as I could upstairs to the toilet. There, once again, I was bent over the top waiting to see my breakfast again.
Nothing happened, again, but I have this salty feeling at the back of my throat, like when I drank the coke-cheese-pepper-herb thingy. Uggh. I'm much better now. Except I just flattened my hair and a piece of straw came out. I'm a tiny bit confused about that.
Now that I'm on the comp I've been able to take my pics. They're crap. I don't have a scanner so they usually come out with different shades on them. And since I don't know how to use photoshop and I'm too lazy to learn they end up staying faded and full of lines and whatnot.
I should write a book. I know it's a random statement but it's true. I've been drawing characters for it ever since I could draw (reasonably) well. I've wanted to write a fantasy book ever since I was 8 when I read LotR for the first time. I got a good plot aswell. I think. It's all about genocide and how all the races need to unite to stop it. Sad I know, but it's fun. I'd just thought I'd tell you guys these things, just so this ain't as boring as I think.
I'm bored now so I'll end it here.
Good Day.

Fallout.... And make-up

Tuesday, June 01, 2004
Current Mood: Calm
Current Music: Sugarcult- Stuck In America

Heylow to all my loyal fans (All two of them). I am in a fairly good mood at the moment, and I have tonnes to talk about! This is not just a worthless blog of nothingness. Goody. where to start....
I went round to Dannys house to stay over for the night. It was good fun. I drew a few good pictures, two of which he has stolen and is now claiming as his own, and we watched Dreamcatcher. It's quite good. "Sae the wod fom Mr Gay?" A retarded boy was saying that (He was actually saying "Save the world from Mr Gray?"). We eventually got to sleep at around 3am.
Next morning we get up, get changed and shit then we're out to the centre. We walk and it only took us 5mins cause Danny lives next door to the centre. We arive at pizza hut where Jenny and Chaz were meeting us and we say hi and stuff. As soon as I say "I got my new shirt and shoes on" they start with making fun of me. I'm ok with all that so I just curse them under my breath while laughing and smiling. Good times.
Anyway, we head up to the cinema to get tickets for a film. There is a difference of opinion at this point. The girls want to see Troy, just for Orlando Bloom and Brad Pitt, and the boys want to see The Day After Tommorow, cause it looks sooo cool. We can't choose so we decide to flip a coin. I take a 10p out of my pocket and flip it. It came up tails in my hand and I jumped up and down with joy.
"Yes! We get to see TDAT! Whoo Hoo!"
*The girls and Danny stare at me. Chaz finally speaks*
"Joe, tails was for Troy. Heads was for TDAT."
*I look at Danny for support but he just nods his head. My mouth hangs open as girls jump up and down with joy*
We bought the tickets and headed back down to Pizza Hut where we got a buffet thingy. Which was quite nice. Until Danny and Chaz decided to put salt and parmagane (Spelling?- It's that cheesy powder stuff). I saw it and didn't drink it, but it meant that I didn't have a drink for the rest of the day. Except when I did this incredibaly stupid thing. They added more pepper, salt, herbs, and lots of that cheesy powder. And dared me to drink it. And who am I (The idiot that I am) to refuse a dare? I took it to my mouth and sipped it. Then gulped it.
It wasn't that bad. Just like cheesy, coke flavoured sea water. It left a salty feel in the back of my throat, and it made me feel sick. I eventually got up and walked calmly to the toilet. Though when I was out of sight I bolted for the stalls. I was bent over the soddin seat for a few minutes waiting to see if I would have a pleasant revisit from the cheese pizza. Thankfully I didn't and I returned to my seat were we had an ok meal.
We got to the cinema and saw Troy. It's an ok film, not too amazing, but not too crap either.
My recomendation- Only go see it if you've seen everything else, or if you want to see Brad Pitt and Orlando Bloom almost totally naked.
After that finished I kinda exploded at my friends. I was just sooooo angry at them for making fun at me that I just shouted at them. I can't even remember what I said, I just remember that I walked off in a storm and shooed Jenny away from me.
I've made up with them now, except Chaz who I haven't talked to yet, and everything's dandy (Dandy? What am I on....).
I'll leave you here and now then. Buh bye.